LesbianWhy the hell do some trans-focused "lesbian" communities talk about being a "top" or "bottom"?

submitted by reluctant_commenter from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This analysis is dead-on and is a more elegant way to frame things I've been trying to communicate IRL with lesbian friends. I've made a lot of headway by pointing out how dystopian it is that we are not allowed to be openly homosexual or talk openly about the things that make us homosexual for fear of backlash from people within the LGBT "community" and ostracization by the organizations who claim to be looking out for us. That we always have to keep the door open and create the impression that we could be open to males. And that dating apps have as a default that we must accept males in our dating pool and how not only disrespectful it is, but how purposeful it is.

And of course without the performance of the forced made-up stereotypes you've mentioned, these gaytrenders have nothing else to base being a lesbian on.

[–]winterwillow 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you! I've been thinking a lot about the trans movement's view on sex and sexuality, hope it can be be useful in your IRL conversations.

That we always have to keep the door open and create the impression that we could be open to males. And that dating apps have as a default that we must accept males in our dating pool and how not only disrespectful it is, but how purposeful it is.

Exactly. This is something I've also thought about, the term 'genital preference', how it makes it sound like a mtf in wanting to date a lesbian stumbles on the last hurdle (sex) that up onto that point (dating, making out etc.) they're still in the running. Because saying you're only attracted to females, not someone's 'female gender identity' aren't allowed.