all 9 comments

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

'They' is seen as an impersonal personal pronoun, which can be used to refer to people in vague, non-specific ways:

In Japan they drive on the left.

which is likely what happens when people use 'they' when referring to things like 'OP' in Reddit threads. There's also no way of explicitly knowing someone's sex on Reddit threads, so it's likely a reflex to refer to 'OP' using 'they'.

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

'They' is seen as an impersonal personal pronoun, which can be used to refer to people in vague, non-specific ways:

Yeah, sometimes "they" is used to indicate an unknown person, even if the sex is known. Like when I was about to get a college roommate I found myself saying, stuff like, "Yeah, I should ask them about it before I go and get a fridge." The one and only thing I knew about my future roommate was that she'd be female. But my native-English-speaker inclination was still to use "they" to indicate the vague, unknown quality.

In the same way, I've heard non-bisexual people use "they" to refer to their future spouses.

[–]PassionateIntensity 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

It's on purpose. They're trying to make fetch happen (make "they" singular and specific by common usage). I know someone who does this. I ignore her.

[–]julesburm1891 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Howdy. I’m a native English speaker who also happens to have an English degree.

You can use a singular they in casual conversation. (I suppose Internet forums count as casual conversation.) “They are meeting us at the bar” is a perfectly acceptable thing to say if you are talking about meeting up with one person. It can be used regardless if you know the person’s sex or not. You can say a lot of weird casual things in English as a whole and many more depending on your dialect. Just two days ago, my fiancée was teasing me because I said “It needs popped” (in reference to my back). Omitting the “to be” is perfectly acceptable thing to do in my regional American dialect whereas it is not in her regional American dialect.

However, just because something can be used in casual spoken scenarios does not mean it’s appropriate in formal or written settings. I’d never walk into work and tell my boss something “needs signed.” My fiancée wouldn’t use any of the quirks of her dialect in a formal setting. (I’m omitting examples for her because she speaks a very distinctive dialect that essentially pinpoints us on a map.) Likewise, a singular they shouldn’t be used formal English or Standard Written English (SWE). It’s not only grammatically incorrect, but confusing to do so.

Another gaffe that comes up often is using they to refer to an individual as if he or she is a group. A sentence like, “If a child would like to participate in the class field trip, they will need a permission slip,” is incorrect. The correct usage is “he or she will need a permission slip” because you’re talking about requirements for individuals. The same thing applies for their. You’d say “If an employee has a concern, it is his or her right to contact Human Resources,” not “their right.” The genderspecials like to complain about the “he or she” and “his or hers” grammar rules, but any college entrance exam and any writing instructor will dock you for incorrect usage.

P.S. I apologize on behalf of all English speakers for our quirky language, especially our spelling. I can’t begin to imagine how frustrating it would be to learn this

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The genderspecials like to complain about the “he or she” and “his or hers” grammar rules, but any college entrance exam and any writing instructor will dock you for incorrect usage.

The question now is whether they will, though. I can see liberals at a college complaining about a professor for not accepting their woke grammar and having a solid case for it.

[–]mvmlego 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I've heard that "you" underwent a transition during early modern English similar to the transition that seems to be occurring with "they" nowadays. At least according to an essay in this* blog, "you" used to be exclusively a second-person plural pronoun (with "thou" being the second-person singular). I almost never trust the word of an individual stranger on the Internet, so do you happen to know whether this is correct?

*https://medium.com/@danmcgee/ignore-english-teachers-everyone-should-use-the-singular-they-f23dabba2930

(Also, I don't recommend the blog as a whole. I just thought this essay in particular was interesting.)

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is used because gendered pronouns are being attacked. I try not to use a word that implies a plural for an individual unless I can't tell what the gender is. "There's someone at the door, they sound like it's urgent"

ideally, we'd have a word that had the definition of being "he or she" so that there'd be a gender neutral pronoun to refer to a man or woman, unfortunately no such word exists in the english language and the closest word to one is "they"

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I use singular they only in informal situations, e.g. texts and verbal conversations with friends and family, or in a relatively informal classroom discussion. I also use it because I’m too lazy to say or write “he or she” all the time. I am making a more conscious effort to always say “he or she” to combat the genderspecialness, though.