ColonizationMtF on another "lesbians" subreddit: "I feel like I'm not attracted to women the same way other woman are" yeah no shit, you have male socialization

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[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 35 insightful - 5 fun35 insightful - 4 fun36 insightful - 5 fun -  (8 children)

There's a huge physical and visual component to my attraction

You think there isn't a huge physical/visual component of attraction for all women? No woman lacks the physical/visual attraction, we just tend to be a bit quieter/more tactful in the way we talk about it, generally.

"cutesy soft"

No lesbian I know behaves like the "cutesy/soft" stereotype of anime porn. Women and female sexuality are not intrinsically cutesy or soft.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

You think there isn't a huge physical/visual component of attraction for all women?

Pop psychology pushes this idea about biological essentialism that men have a stronger visual/physical component of attraction than women. That may be where he is getting the idea from. Personally, I am not convinced by it, but I haven't read the relevant literature.

No lesbian I know behaves like the "cutesy/soft" stereotype of anime porn. Women and female sexuality are not intrinsically cutesy or soft.

Yeah it grosses me out when they talk about women that way.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The way they use the word “cute” is so far removed from how women use that word. I especially never hear lesbians using the word “cute” in the way they do. It makes my skin crawl but it also sets off alarm bells every time that it’s a trans-identifying male speaking and specifically the female-attracted lesbian-appropriating kind. It never ceases to amaze me what carbon copies of each other they are and how they get their ideas of womanhood from each other (i.e. other men).

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

By my observations: many men are using word "cute" as diminutive with meaning something that makes you "awwww" and with meaning from "that's so cute", while many women are using word "cute" as "pretty" or "nice and sweet". Anime fans are using word "cute" with meaning of something childish, powerless and visually appealing. At least when considering people I've interacted with.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree with this take and adding that the TW anime fans tends to associate that last description with sex appeal.

[–]DifferentAirGC 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Pop psychology pushes this idea about biological essentialism that men have a stronger visual/physical component of attraction

Incel scholars invented the idea that women don't care about looks at all and just want men who can provide. Yes, they only mention men because for them we lesbians don't even exist.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not only lesbians, just women in general.

Works of Nietzsche that started many of those pop-psychologies, are completely focusing only on man's libido and man's sexuality. Woman's sexuality is fully described through men there.

In many non-western countries to this day men believing that women sexuality does not exist at all. Clitoris was "found" and became subject of studies only few decades ago.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Pop psychology pushes this idea about biological essentialism that men have a stronger visual/physical component of attraction than women.

I'm not sure this is true, or if it is, to what degree it is actually different. I read it more like he thought women are attracted to "spirit" or "the soul" or personality only, and don't care about physical attraction like men do.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I read that to mean that they objectify women.