"Pomosexuality, WTF"

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[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Why are you being so hostile? I'm saying no, it's not necessarily abusive, and calling everything you disagree with "abuse" is pretty toxic to those of us who have actually been through sexual abuse & other abuse.

Considering you're also a bi woman I don't understand why you've suddenly made yourself the protector and voice for gay men in this context, especially when you get aggressive when an actual gay dude steps in to tell you that you're being incorrect.

[–]EverydayIsSad 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just because you're a "gay dude" does not mean you know more than those of us who are not "gay dudes". The people above you were correcting you, and telling you you were unnecessarily aggressive. Instead of considering their points, you arrogantly used your "I'm a gay dude" card as a way to show you don't need to learn, because you believe to have figured it all out as a "gay dude". You haven't figured it all out. You are a "gay dude", not all "gay dudes" combined. So please, don't act like you are the voice of all gay men either, you are not.

If you don't want women to make themselves the protector and voice for gay men, then take a few steps back and realize you are not the voice of other gay men either.

There have been gay men who actually appreciated us women's concern for their safety when "trans men"/straight women talk about wanting to do something to them, such as wanting to sleep with them or "experiment" with them. And they thanked me for being concerned, pretty sure many gay men would disagree with you on the things you have said so far.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not going to help you keep digging this hole. If you aren't just here to antagonize people—I note that you have only been here for 12 days—then you are certainly making an effort regardless, by creating inflated and distorted arguments you can then refute, repeatedly. Enough already. What I said was perfectly clear and clearly a number of other people got it. It isn't my problem if you need someone to tangle with; I'm not available. Sorry.

And yes, I immediately shut down manipulative attempts to make other people feel guilty with false and distorted arguments and now, apparently, also gaslighting. So don't try that on me and then pretend to be a victim. That might seem like a cool new argument tactic to you, but it is super old and textbook to me. You were really reaching, bringing that here in the first place, and you are getting the well-deserved push-back from someone you 1. do not know and 2. have no business lecturing about surviving abuse, or understanding or working with abuse survivors.

Trying to create a conflict out of someone's humorous sympathy with the idea that straight women should probably not target gay men—which is a very common discussion point here, perhaps you were not aware, so I guess you'll have to admonish a great many other people in this group now, too, who care about those in the related groups—is just bizarre. Have a nice day, but point yourself somewhere other than me, thanks.

[–]EverydayIsSad 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I wanted to say I feel bad you had to deal with someone like VigorousTaintMassage, but your comebacks were really good. You're smart (☆>⊇<)

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

After several years of observing and countering these tactics I find it best just to give a condensed, summarized critique (or total silence) and move on. A point-by-point analysis, which comes to mind a lot faster during observation than the time it would take to write it down, is something I'd have to send an invoice for. They can figure themselves out on their own time, not mine. :-) Meanwhile, hopefully the consequences of not being self-reflective and sincere continue to add up until they are too uncomfortable to ignore. He says in his flair that he's 25. That's sort of all the information I need about what went sideways here. Dude still thinks he invented the world.

I enjoyed your responses as well.