How do I tell my gay friend dating a transman that he is bisexual?

submitted by Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift. from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

You do realise people aren't attracted to everyone of the opposite sex/same sex, just attracted to those that attract them. OP's friend is still bisexual, but they clearly have a type, or certain traits attract them, which constitutes the 'sometimes attracted' part. I don't know why this is a hill you insist on dying on. There's three sexualities, homo, hetero and bi, and anything that isn't strictly homosexual or heterosexual is bi. Case closed.

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The thing is, OP never said if his friend was actually attracted to this transman. For all we know, he could've pushed himself into it to not seem transphobic.

Also, depending on how you see it. There's four sexualities. Homo-, bi-, hetero-, and asexuality.

I'm insistence on this because I'm getting tired of everyone always hurling fucking transpeople to bisexuals. Case closed.

Edit: words

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I never said that bisexuals are all attracted to transpeople, nor that they have to have the burden of dating transpeople despite the sex dissonance. I just said that if someone is attracted to both sexes, then they're bi. Homo/hetero flexibility only applies to bisexuality (as they like both sexes to some extent), and even though that has its limits too.

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I never said you specifically, but I noticed a lot of people on here always assume someone to be bisexual when some fool (ex: straight woman dating transwomen who call themselves "lesbians," people on here call them "bisexual," despite the woman only dating males) decides to date transpeople.

Personally, I do not see it that way. Hetero/homoflexibility, if true, is a subset of hetero/homosexuality. Why? Because for two reasons (one that i explained to reluctent commenter which is 1): 1. majority of these people call themselves "flexible" because they've had a fantasy, a fleeting "attraction," or may have had dated or kissed the opposite/same sex without attraction. But due to these things, they wouldn't be considered a "goldstar" gay or straight person. 2. While some (and when I say some, I mean the minority) may have an "attraction," it's more incidental/slightly. I wouldn't consider these incidental/slightly as "bisexual," as these said "atttactions" go in and out. Not in a FEB or FEM way, but a... Basically think they might be attracted but they're not. If that makes sense. These people would've been the perfect example of "it's a phrase" stereotype. That's why I don't want them to be considered bisexuals .

Edit: words