How do I tell my gay friend dating a transman that he is bisexual?

submitted by Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift. from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]BiHorror 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (16 children)

He might be homoflexible. Either way, depending on he is (is he pretty chill or a rabid TRA?) , you could explain to him why he isn't gay as he thinks he is. Or let him go.

[–]MyLongestJourney 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

He might be homoflexible.

You mean bisexual.

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (14 children)

Nah, I meant homoflexible. I consider them two different things. The friend also has the possibility of being homoflexible if he wouldn't date other women.

[–]MyLongestJourney 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

it is called bisexuality.

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Agree to disagree then.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 10 fun4 insightful - 9 fun5 insightful - 10 fun -  (6 children)

Pistols at dawn.

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

No thanks. But, if you're curious as to why those are my opinions, I'll be more than willing to explain in a polite manner.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

That was humor...

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Uh huh... Considering how some of ya act on this sub, that could've been a joke or something else.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don't know who "ya" is, since you are here as well, but sure.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Do you mind if I ask how that is not a type of bisexual? Just curious. My working definition of homosexuality is exclusive same-sex attraction.

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I see them similar to the GAMPs we were talking about in the other post. But, I should've probably clarifed myself more. I see them as a straight/gay but a subset of it. Most of these "flexibles" see themselves as such becuase they had say 1-2 incidents that wouldn't be considered 100% hetero- or homosexual. Ranging from having a "attraction" (that was fleeting, if it could be considered an "attraction" to begin with. I think, by the terms that asexuals (?) use, it would be "aesthetic attraction"), kissed or dated the opposite/same sex without actual attraction or just a "smudge" of it, had one fantasy but wouldn't dare actually go out given the chance, etc.

Basically, think of it this way: they don't consider themselves gay or straight and call themselves "flexible" becuase they wouldn't be considered "goldstars" gays (or straight). I just call them it becuase that's what they want to be called and it's not gonna kill me. The label is hurting no one, and basically differentiates them from straights/gays who never touched or thought about the opposite/same sex, but also bisexuals who had actual attraction of both sexes.

Also, now that I think about it... OP never stated if his friend was actually attracted to this transman. For all we know, he could've been pressured into it to seem "woke."

Edit: words

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh. Sounds like you are talking about people who just tried it and realized they didn't like it, but maybe are in denial about being straight and/or want to acknowledge their past experiences?

and basically differentiates them from straights/gays who never touched or thought about the opposite/same sex, but also bisexuals who had actual attraction of both sexes.

I think most people use the words "homoflexible/heteroflexible" in a very different way than you, then. Usually I hear it applied to people who are like a 5.5 or a 1.5 (so to speak) on the Kinsey scale, i.e. bisexuals at the extreme of either end, who are attracted to both sexes but one of their directions of attraction just very rarely happens. (I don't really have an opinion on how those terms should be used, I'm just observing.)

Also, now that I think about it... OP never stated if his friend was actually attracted to this transman. For all we know, he could've been pressured into it to seem "woke."

Yeah, that's true.

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh. Sounds like you are talking about people who just tried it and realized they didn't like it, but maybe are in denial about being straight and/or want to acknowledge their past experiences

Yeah, I seen most of them like that. With only a few being so keen on the "attraction" part. I wonder if these people are also apart of the group of straights who want to be apart of LGB (not sure about homoflexible).

I think most people use the words "homoflexible/heteroflexible" in a very different way than you, then. Usually I hear it applied to people who are like a 5.5 or a 1.5 (so to speak) on the Kinsey scale, i.e. bisexuals at the extreme of either end, who are attracted to both sexes but one of their directions of attraction just very rarely happens. (I don't really have an opinion on how those terms should be used, I'm just observing.)

I've seen and used it in both ways. It's just that when I see the people who do use it, it's less of those who would be 5.5 or 1.5. Like, while I don't want bisexuality to be seen as 50/50 but I just find it odd to classify "bisexual but rarely rarely happens" as bisexual. I find that most of these people who are like that just have a "attraction" that goes in and out quick. Similar to how some lesbians/gay men (or straights) think they might be "attracted" to the opposite but that super disappears.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I'm just starting to find it annoying that people will automatically go to "bisexual" when trans people are involved when there could be multiple other reasons.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I find that most of these people who are like that just have a "attraction" that goes in and out quick. Similar to how some lesbians/gay men (or straights) think they might be "attracted" to the opposite but that super disappears.

Oh, gotcha. Like a sort of fleeting "oh I recognize that that person is attractive enough that I notice that they are, but I'm not actually into them".

Yeah, I'm just starting to find it annoying that people will automatically go to "bisexual" when trans people are involved when there could be multiple other reasons.

Totally agree. I try to call it out when I see it. It is just not grounded in reality. There used to be a couple asshole users who would really go off on bisexuals a few months ago, but I actually haven't seen them do it recently, so maybe they are being censored now.