Why I think men (gay & heterosexual) avoid the important task of standing with women against TRAs

submitted by pacmanla from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]ThiccDropkickGay 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I have common ground with radfems on the TRA topic but besides that I just can't support them. They have a completely one-sided view of the whole issue. The trans stuff is boiled down to MtF's invade women's spaces because males have no boundaries, where FtM's who do the same thing are ignored or they insist it never happens.

Again, I understand the anger, frustration at certain men in powerful positions pushing this trans narrative

This can excuse the men-bashing it to a degree but it's taken way too far on places like GC and comes across as a bit pathetic.

I agree with radfems on some issues, but at the end of the day, they're still feminists. They still love to play the victim just as much as the TRA's and ignore/deny issues that don't affect them.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah, I used to be neutral with radfems until I saw comments like these:

Honestly, I think refusing to have children at all is the way to go. You’re either birthing another oppressor which, no matter how well you raise him, is most likely going to be another women’s nightmare. (This will also help in the long run because I don’t see patriarchy lessening without the number of men decreasing.) Or you’re bringing another girl into the world who will be victimized by patriarchy. I think adopting a daughter is what I would suggest to radfems who want to be mothers.

And:

[...] biological differences between men and women, not only in terms of women being the ones to give birth but also men having naturally predatory sexual instincts that can't be deconstructed away by society as well as a more dominating and aggressive temperament.

I'm starting to see radfems to be just as bad as TRAs, but instead of being misogynistic, they are misandristic and think it's OK.

I have a son, so in their eyes, I'm "birthing another opressor". That's fucked up.

Edit: Also, they're judgemental of other women which is ironic. They're not a fan of bisexual women because we're "heteronormative". They also shame women who wear makeup or shave their legs. Like, who gives a crap about that? There's more important things to focus on. I didn't care back then if the women I liked put on or didn't put on makeup. If she likes it then cool, if not, fine.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The worst take I ever saw on a radfem space was: "The only reason why less women die from suicide than men is because women stop to think more about how it will affect others, whereas men are naturally more selfish" which I just found disgusting.

They're ultimately cut from the same cloths as TRA's. Insecure groups of people who make themselves feel better by painting everyone else as an oppressor and them the innocent victims.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is really fucking gross and messed up! There are MANY thoughtful men out there as there are women.

Also...suicide is a difficult thing. Some people went through some tough shit and feel like they have NOBODY at all. I used to be in a dark place and wish I could die everyday living with my (abusive) parents when I was kid-teen years. I didn't stop myself because "Oh, look at who it would affect" it's more like I was scared of the unknown and (stupidly thought) if I killed myself, my parents would be annoyed at how useless I am and what I left behind is an annoyance for them to have to clean up and yeah...anyways...

Yep radfems are on the other side of the same coin as TRAs.

I'm getting kinda tired in general of the battle of "who's the most oppressed". I fit in many "minority" boxes, but I am getting tired of the ones who cry and scream about not getting their way without even trying to do better or the ones who are so "oppressed" but then start to sound like supremist or "purist" that we're "better/more superior" than the "majority" uh...But lol that's an entirely different topic heh.

[–]SeahorseLTHarold, they're lesbians! 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Where do people insist it never happens? I see a lot of beef with the FtMs which they might even see as hateful, because you have some that seem to double down to make away with sex-based rights and the like, see ACLU lawyers. People are not blindly praising them just because they are female - not from what I've seen.

Of course, though, it will be an issue that most women won't pay attention to - because it just has nothing to do with their lives. Straight feminists, for instance, can be quite against lesbians at times. I am not surprised that gay men are even further away from their attention. That's why you need to stand up for yourself, and as LGB, I think. Because I know that many of these heterosexual women just won't get it, and I know that because I've had a lot of shit from them over the years, too. I have stopped expecting to go along with lots of groups just because there's alignment in a few of our "causes". That's why I am glad about any LGB space created. Being homosexual is a different life experience and while I will never know what it's like as a gay man, I know that same-sex attraction is something that you and I share, and which has definitely shaped us.