That makes sense. Especially when there are scenarios where people do have sex with the same sex (obviously not for same reasons) despite not being into it. I think I was just going more for that these men willing go out of their way to have sex with TWs which makes it weird to call them "heterosexual" but I can see your point on it. Especially in being consistent on what defines paraphilia.

Glad it makes sense, and yeah it's kind of fascinating and different to look at sexual orientation with paraphilias in mind. And I think, too, there may be a distinction between someone who's learned a sort of fetish as a result of say trauma, and someone who's just been like that their whole life with no apparent instigating factor. It's a little odd that you could have someone who regularly has sex with a sex they aren't attracted to, but then, human behavior is very varied.

but i just don't want this to make the "it's a phrase" stereotype pop up more, when it seems most of these "flexibles" seem to be more into what asexuals call "aesthetic attraction" but take that to heart that they "aren't" 100% x becuase they managed to find the same/opposite sex attractive, not sexually tho. But then but don't want to necessarily appropriate the bisexual label either.

Ok that actually makes a lot of sense. Hmm. Yeah I dunno. Maybe having more discussions about "aesthetic attraction" would be helpful, honestly? Because it is so normalized for straight people to be able to compliment each other and still be assumed to be straight, esp straight women, but with gay people it's like "oh are you ACTUALLY gay?" And I bet there are many tumblr-type people who just have a sort of "aesthetic attraction" to their same sex and who jumped to apply the label "bisexual" to themselves when they are not really, they are straight; but they were told "bisexual includes EVERYONE even people who are SLIGHTLY drawn to each sex in a non-sexual way" and then people end up seeing them and being like "wtf you're not actually bisexual it's a phase..." For these people, I honestly understand the attitude of not having labels. I actually have a friend like this, and feel like I kind of get it better now.

edit: oh and also. Distinguishing between admiration and sexual attraction is not happening for many kids, I think, and it should. Many people online just jump to, "Oh you felt embarrassed/shy/delighted around this person? Maybe you're bisexual! Everyone is a little bisexual after allllllll"