LGB ErasureLA Gays discuss the label "Queer" and keeping their minds open to heterosexual attraction. Is anyone else creeped out by the emphasis on needing to remind ourselves that our sexual orientation is "malleable?"

submitted by yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" from youtu.be

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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

This weirded me out. I don't know whether to chalk this up to gay people in LA being really out of touch with the experiences of LGB people in other parts of the U.S. and around the world. But the emphasis by Carson McCalley on using the word "queer" for himself to remind himself to "keep the door open" to attraction to other types of people (read people of the opposite sex) weirded me out. Then he said, of course you can use the word "gay" for yourself and use that to remind yourself that your sexual orientation is "malleable."

What I also don't understand is then based on that logic who isn't "queer" and how does "queer" convey any meaning? Shouldn't people who have only ever been attracted to the opposite sex also call themselves "queer" to remind themselves to be open to homosexual attraction? How is any of this helpful to anyone? While of course we should not rush into prematurely applying labels to ourselves (and here we are not exactly the type of people to do that) and we shouldn't reject actual attraction just because it conflicts with a label we hastily applied to ourselves that doesn't quite fit, isn't it more helpful to yourself and to others you meet if you're a man who has only ever been attracted to men to use a word for yourself to convey specifically that? I just hate this postmodern, non-communicative, open-minded mush.

[–]Shadow_Lurker 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don't know whether to chalk this up to gay people in LA being really out of touch with the experiences of LGB people in other parts of the U.S.

You think so? It's almost certain that's the case.

They are overprivileged kids that live in ultra-liberal megacities, where the prospect of conversion therapy or gay bashings are long gone. They don't fucking care.

Then he said, of course you can use the word "gay" for yourself and use that to remind yourself that your sexual orientation is "malleable."

Why are they imposing this shit to other people? Like, if they think so it's totally fine, just don't extrapolate it to others.

It isn't hard.

I just hate this postmodern, non-communicative, open-minded mush.

This shit don't only destroy language, but the actual capability of gay and lesbian people to describe themselves and organize with each other. If you can't define what 'gay' is thn how are you going to fight for gay rights?

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You think so? It's almost certain that's the case.

It's just that most of them are transplants and were born and raised elsewhere and presumably made the choice to move to LA where they could be more openly gay. And now they have the social power to impose this privileged blasé worldview on all of us. I live in a liberal area too, so it's not like I fear bodily harm for being a lesbian here, but it's also not easy showing affection in public here because you may get treated like a live action porno. Like, I already get treated like a live action porno when I'm walking down the street carrying groceries. But I'm also not totally disconnected with how things are in other places. One, I travel a lot and have been to plenty of places where it's not OK to be openly gay. Two, I've lived in rural and religious places where it's not OK to be openly gay. Three, I am more plugged into the lives of LGB people in deeply homophobic parts of the world. These YouTubers seem to rarely discuss homophobia (outside of the coming out process) and the negative consequences of being openly gay.

This shit don't only destroy language, but the actual capability of gay and lesbian people to describe themselves and organize with each other. If you can't define what 'gay' is thn how are you going to fight for gay rights?

Yep, same issue as women right now. We are all losing the words to even explain what is happening to us. And dating apps are difficult right now too because it's getting increasingly more difficult to sift through the bullshit to find the women who are actually attracted to women.

[–]Shadow_Lurker 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's just that most of them are transplants and were born and raised elsewhere and presumably made the choice to move to LA where they could be more openly gay.

If this is the case, then they are even bigger twats then I thought.

They know the bullshit they are peddling is wrong, but do it anyway because fuck you.

Edit: there's also a third possibility: they might just be vomiting TQ talking points that they don't believe in just for clout.

I live in a liberal area too, so it's not like I fear bodily harm for being a lesbian here, but it's also not easy showing affection in public here because you may get treated like a live action porno. Like, I already get treated like a live action porno when I'm walking down the street carrying groceries.

It's no wonder why this still happens: most of these TQ identitarians love to fetishize lesbians. They reduce lesbianism to an abstract and amorphous thing that anyone can be, even though this alienates actual lesbians.

These YouTubers seem to rarely discuss homophobia outside of the coming out process and the negative consequences of being openly gay.

They are lifestyle YouTubers that larp as activists, even though they do nothing actually substantial for the causes they claim do push for. The actual struggles of gay and lesbian people have no place in their videos, mainly because they shatter the perception of an idealized uwu life they sell via their content.

This is part of the problem we are having today: the over idealization of gay/lesbian life is making frustrated straight people think that larping as gay/lesbian will solve all of their life problems then this isn't the case.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But the emphasis by Carson McCalley on using the word "queer" for himself to remind himself to "keep the door open" to attraction to other types of people (read people of the opposite sex) weirded me out.

See, now that's just coming right out and saying it. THAT is why I am not "queer". All of these words, lesbian, gay, homosexual, are either being systematically erased or are having their boundaries eroded.

isn't it more helpful to yourself and to others you meet if you're a man who has only ever been attracted to men to use a word for yourself to convey specifically that?

I think that reality is legitimately offensive to some people, and they choose to believe that such people are just lying. "Hearts not parts" is the homophobic catchphrase of 2020.