all 42 comments

[–]our_team_is_winning 47 insightful - 7 fun47 insightful - 6 fun48 insightful - 7 fun -  (7 children)

<I’m FtM and so is my boyfriend, we’re both 19 >

Ok, so two teenage females who jumped on the social contagion bandwagon with both feet. Heads up, neither of you has a boyfriend.

<one of the first messages I received was literally a guy asking: “Why are you on Grindr? This is for gay men”.>

That should be the response of every single person on earth. What I find so odd is that I guess (?) women are doing this because of misogyny, but then the first thing they want to do is hook up with a man. Gee, is it because they are straight women? (yes!) But somehow a gay man isn't going to be one of those misogynist straight men who they were trying to escape from, right? I think they imagine gay men are "like girls" so they're non-threatening. This is just so insulting to all people, male, female, gay, straight -- this transgender stuff is a dumpster fire.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 30 insightful - 2 fun30 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I think they imagine gay men are "like girls" so they're non-threatening. This is just so insulting to all people, male, female, gay, straight -- this transgender stuff is a dumpster fire.

I think this is exactly it. It’s like the evolution of the “fag hag.” It manages to be deeply misogynistic, homophobic, and lesbophobic all at the same time. These trans men who date other trans men and consider themselves gay men are just so sad.

And one of her main hook-up experiences was sex with a man in a public restroom who viewed her as a woman anyway? Yikes. How the hell is this escaping misogyny/the problems of being with straight men?

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

And apparently looking for hookups up in bathrooms. The rapey kind of straight boys will love to hear about that.

[–]Eurowoman24 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

and gleefully stating TMAM

[–]Shadow_Lurker 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I’m FtM and so is my boyfriend, we’re both 19

So they are lesbians/bissexual girls who transitioned for whatever reason and didn't even bother to pass...

I smell a detransition (maybe even two) incoming in a few years.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Or just very dedicated fetishists who are straight. Happens with AGP straight males who date each other, as well.

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'm wondering if these girls are lesbians who are deeply misogynistic. Like, they both have female(ish) bodies (OP says they are pre T (tf did they expect from gay men thten???)), and they are in a fandom where women share erotic stories they write with other women and feminise at least one of the "male" characters in the story. Surely, if they're in a relationship then they're having sex with each other and so at least one of them is into eating pussy. Is it just me, or does this sound at least a little bit lesbian / bisexual?

[–]denverkrisMy pronouns are Vodka?/Yes!/please 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"I’m FtM and so is my boyfriend"

Yes, so they're lesbians. This is what happens when you allow teens to saturate their brains with internet bullshit.

[–]artetolife 37 insightful - 9 fun37 insightful - 8 fun38 insightful - 9 fun -  (5 children)

She feels left out because of course all gay men care about lady gaga and paris hilton 🤦‍♂️ Yeah that's totally what being a gay man is about, not actually being a man attracted to other men.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 22 insightful - 8 fun22 insightful - 7 fun23 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like this was not only posted by a bisexual (?) woman RPGing as a gay man but also a Boomer RPGing as Gen Z.

Paris. Hilton. Um?

[–]motss-pb 18 insightful - 5 fun18 insightful - 4 fun19 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Yup, we all love Paris Hilton, Lady Gaga, having sex in public restrooms and drinking coffee at Starbucks. That's what being gay means to them - just a bunch of stereotypes. It's a performance.

This reads like a bait post. Supposedly the poster is 19 years old, but Paris Hilton has not been relevant for over 10 years. And then there's this line:

"I’m young and in the prime TikTok demographic,"

Yeah, you really sound so young and hip with the times ...

[–]shveya 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

I'm surprised she didn't mention Bette Midler. 🙄

[–]JulienMayfair 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Or Judy Garland!

[–]shveya 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I thought of her too! :D

[–]diapason 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

her 'boy'friend "spent his entire high school career as a vocal gay man" and "talks about hallmarks of gay culture"… having known a girl like this (the type to transition cause she fetishizes gay men), I can guarantee you this person's classmates thought she was obnoxious but didn't say anything to her about it even though she was making them really uncomfortable with her nonsense

[–]Willpoll 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

OK first of all what the hell with "hallmarks of gay culture"??? there is no "gay culture". Secondly, of course no ones going to hook up with them on grindr. that seems painfully obvious 🤦‍♂️

[–]shveya 10 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Sex in bathhouses and Judy Garland albums, duh! /s

[–]8bitgay 21 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 3 fun -  (14 children)

Here's a tip, if you want to be taken seriously and understood as a man of science, quit your religion. If you want to be a Jewish mystic who peaches morality and seems like a semi-plausible religious scholar, stop being a cunt to trans people.

What's up with the random antisemitism?

You've come into a gay space with your religious beliefs

Sure, everybody knows it's very common for religions to want men to date the same sex! Super common.

Someone else also called the gay men in the sub incels recently. Really, what's up with that? They are the ones using incel narrative, they are the ones using religious-like conversion therapy rhetorics. Accusing gay men of doing what they do is such a low move.

Straight people say gay people aren’t biologically correct.

I think about that sometimes too. What if we are acting towards TQ+ people the same way homophobes act towards us? But if you give it any amount of critical thinking you see clear differences. We aren't trying to be the same as straight people. We know we're gay, and we create gay spaces. We aren't claiming to be straight. We aren't peer pressuring straight men into dating us.

Also we aren't an identity. Sure, you can have a gay identity, a gay community, but homosexuality exists regardless of that. Your gayness exists simply because you're attracted to the same sex. It's very different from simply identifying as something, or the many neo-genders they create, or the very confusing and contradictory narratives they create.

It's just like that article someone posted days ago about a non-binary transman and he simply "forgot" to say in the article that he is non-binary, and according to his own words he was gay and became bi. "Transmen are men" he says as he openly identifies as not a man.

You talk about “being part of the community” and every example you bring up is about hooking up with gay men.

Great comment to point out this. Funny how people say "oh you don't need to date transmen, you just have to include them in the community". But their way of "being included" means being included in gay men's sex lives. Let's face it: if you wanna know who Paris Hilton and Lady Gaga are you could just google it. Even straight people can take part in gay communities, especially on social media where you aren't even showing your face. Not being a cis man would only become an issue when it's time to find a sex partner, which is exactly what OP found out when he tried going to Grindr.

It's also interesting how OP just wants honesty but he's only replying to comments that tells him that he belongs in the gay community.

[–]julesburm1891 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Jfc. What is with the TQ anti-Semitism on AGB today?

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The woque are often antisemitic and racist. Left-wing antisemitism has been a problem for decades, and no one believed it. Now we have a problem with left-wing homophobia and it's the same story. Their hatred is based on intersectionality, seeing Jews and homosexuals as privileged oppressors. When I've talked to these fools for long enough in person, they always reveal this.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It took me a while to see the woke left-wing anti-Semitism for what it is, but damn is it everywhere. That being said, I don’t know that the left in the U.S. at least was ever super cool with the Jews. They’ve always gotten typed as being rich and powerful so there has been an escalation for sure but IDK about a total swap. With gays there has been a total swap from poor vulnerable population to disgusting sexual deviant gatekeepers. It seriously makes me question what people thought they were supporting when throwing their support behind gay rights.

That being said, I still see all these wokesters fall all over themselves with “PRIDE” and tears of joy every time someone even somewhat famous comes out as gay or bisexual. It’s all about the soulless performance and virtue-signaling.

[–]hinterlands 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I'm Jewish and a few people are weaponizing it. It's not exactly a new phenomenon. Haha

[–]julesburm1891 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Still appalling. I’m sorry people suck.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I have talked to some elder activists, and people who were politically active on the left back in the 1960s. They recounted leftist antisemitism then too. It's unfortunately a very old problem.

[–]hinterlands 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, truly a modern sage, marched with MLK, bearing the Torah scroll as he walked. He said it felt like his legs were praying. I aspire to be like him.

I didn't think a modern civil rights issue would mean yelling at people online. But I've been around long enough to know the language of the bully is the push, and anytime you want to get through to someone, you have to speak the language.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Goes back to Roman times in fact...

[–]8bitgay 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Interesting how no one from their side called that commenter on it. Yet they expect us to police what every gay guy says.

Now that I think of it, maybe that commenter did that as a "martyr": he gets banned but he also gets the sub banned.

[–]justagaydude123 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

windowlicker likes to call not swallowing the trans koolaide a "religion".

[–]Shadow_Lurker 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think about that sometimes too. What if we are acting towards TQ+ people the same way homophobes act towards us? But if you give it any amount of critical thinking you see clear differences.

Yes, for one we don't need to take body altering hormones in order to express our sexuality or affection towards the same sex. There's also the fact that we don't try to shame straight people into sleeping with us.

[–]Eurowoman24 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

what's a non-binary trans man?

[–]Shadow_Lurker 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

An oxymoronic oxymoron.

[–]Eurowoman24 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

true makes no sense.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I mean.. I don't feel welcomed by the "gay community" either because I don't give a shit about Drag Race, shitty modern pop music and taking a shit ton of party drugs and getting herpes from some random guy in a bar bathroom.

(Gay community doesn't care much about Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton anymore. Paris faded into irrelevancy way back, and I believe Gaga is too #CANCELED for them now.)

But also that's not the issue here. She's being excluded because she's a straight female. Is the "gay community" vapid, exclusive, and hateful to guys who don't conform to their weird "culture"? Absolutely! But even if it wasn't... you're still a straight chick I'm afraid.

There's a lot of genuine criticisms to be had about "the gay community" or LGBT as a whole. I feel excluded, unwanted, even hated by both for many reasons, some as petty as me looking feminine in the wrong way (not being a sex object for men or a hyperfeminine stereotype) or my nationality, or for having the wrong political beliefs. But "homosexual males don't see me as one of them because I'm a heterosexual female" is not a valid criticism.

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Men really aren't my area of expertise, but from what I can tell the whole tough love thing and not sugar coating everything with sympathy and "validation" is them treating her as another guy. Is that not what she wanted?

[–]a_blue_bird 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There's just nothing more manly than going to an all male space and begging for them to accept you. Especially because someone online wrote a mean thing to you ;_; Lol.

[–]Shadow_Lurker 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

And then crying on the bathroom when nobody wants to fuck them.

A classic attitude of classic gay man.

[–]hinterlands 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

It's good debate practice. And I'm not going down without a fight.

[–]JulienMayfair 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Another Reddit user identity created for the sole purpose of fishing for sympathy and validation.

[–]shveya 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I had two different female friends in high school that specifically lusted after gay men, and would talk amongst the girls about how gay men were the hottest thing ever. Thank the lawd these girls were born in the mid 80's rather than in the era of roided up fujoshis.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Why couldn't the lesbians be this aggressive about keeping their space??? Ugh. The fact that r/askgaybros is still up after those comments make me mad for how fucking easy it is to bulldoze over women saying the exact same thing.

[–]windrunner 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because women are expected to be nice to everyone in every situation. And if you aren't, you already know what happens. We get called derogatory names, threatened with sexual and bodily harm and everything else in between. The funny thing is that the lesbians who were aggressive about keeping our own spaces were thrown under the bus by other women and the woke lgbtq clownmunity - basically TRAs handmaidens - and got banned, de-platformed and kicked out from our own spaces. It's easier to shut women up, isn't it. Specially those who don't agree with men.

[–]les4leshomonormative 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

i'm cracking up. this, literally every week. the bros hold the line