Aces and Aros

submitted by Beth-BR from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]Silverdarling 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

These made up 'sexualities' have no business in the LGB community. The L, G and B (and 'straight' for that matter) are permanent sexual orientations that do not change throughout people's lives. They may be repressed, avoided or denied but they are inescapable and innate modes of desire, intrinsic and universal and observed globally and throughout human existence.

Being asexual is a typical symptom of past abuse or extreme trauma, physical pathology (eg. obesity), common mental ill health (especially depression and anxiety - which are at pandemic levels within modern Western populations) and as such it is highly questionable whether such a state is permanent and innate or is a comorbidity of pathology.

As for 'aromantic' - lol. This is just a trendy social attitude among certain age groups within a handful of Western countries, exposed to the same viral memes on tumblr. And like other social attitudes, there is absolutely nothing intrinsic or universal about it. You may as well state 'being attracted to rich old men with massive bank balances' is a valid sexual orientation - that one at least has a universal pedigree of truth throughout human history.

Adding this nonsense in to the LGB dilutes the core message of equality for same-sex attracted people and actively makes it harder for the LGB in the many socially and politically repressive countries to gain public sympathy and overturn laws which ruin lives.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Being asexual is a typical symptom of past abuse or extreme trauma, physical pathology (eg. obesity), common mental ill health (especially depression and anxiety - which are at pandemic levels within modern Western populations) and as such it is highly questionable whether such a state is permanent and innate or is a comorbidity of pathology.

Just curious, what makes you think that? I have a friend who is asexual who has none of the conditions/situations you described. And he is not drinking the TQ koolaid, either. It doesn't seem remarkable to me that say 1% or something of the population could be asexual.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I second this. I actually genuinely think my sister is asexual (she's 23 and she has NEVER, not even ONCE, in her life had any crushes or showed interest in ANYONE on a romantic/sexual level and feels out of place because she genuinely doesn't understand why people are so obsessed with love LOL) and me and my sister had a perfectly healthy environment growing up, good parents and family. No traumas or anything. I do believe asexuals exist. Aromantic people? No. In that case, I would say they do have issues to address (unless they're aromantic asexuals).

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Asexual here and same. No mental issues and physical ones. I didn't even hang in TQ+ spaces when I started to realize something was off about me. I didn't know asexuality existed so I hoped that I just didn't know for a reason who I was attracted to - even if most people actually know their sexuality when they are late teens and young adults.

I think asexuality is legitimate but it's a big shame it's always used by the TQ+ kweeers.

[–]Silverdarling 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yeah, I can accept that asexuality may exist for a very small % of people. There's people born without the capacity to emotionally connect or empathise with others (eg. psychopaths), so it wouldn't be a stretch to believe that true asexuals (as in people born without the capacity to ever feel sexual desire for others) might be found in rare circumstances. I would assume it would be rare circumstances though, as such a condition would presumably not flourish in a species which reproduces sexually - at least in modern western populations where marriage and childbearing have become individual choices?

It just seems a whole lot more likely to me that when most people diagnose themselves with 'asexuality' it is actually just a co-symptom of one of the common conditions I mentioned, rather than being an innate state of being in itself. If the 'asexual' in question has dyed their hair a radical shade of blue or green, then this suspicion is as good as scientifically proven.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

as such a condition would presumably not flourish in a species which reproduces sexually - at least in modern western populations where marriage and childbearing have become individual choices?

I have heard theories that it might have similar evolutionary benefits as homosexuality might, for example:

  • lack of childrearing responsibility allows individuals to devote energy to other activities that benefit the species

  • it is the flip side of having another minority be very sexual, which could be a superior strategy for a species to have in certain contexts / ecological niches

Your comparison to psychopaths is a good parallel.

It just seems a whole lot more likely to me that when most people diagnose themselves with 'asexuality' it is actually just a co-symptom of one of the common conditions I mentioned, rather than being an innate state of being in itself.

I would not be surprised if say 75%+ of the people who call themselves asexual, are not actually asexual. Especially given the whole "graysexual" thing-- by some definitions, practically everybody in the population could be "ace spectrum"...

This is a paper talking about how asexuality is a real phenomenon-- AND how some people who identify as asexual, might actually have something else going on (e.g. paraphilias).

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-016-0802-7

If the 'asexual' in question has dyed their hair a radical shade of blue or green, then this suspicion is as good as scientifically proven.

Hahaha, yeah not gonna lie I have seen that a lot. For the record my asexual friend does not dye his hair. :)

[–]Silverdarling 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thanks for the link, will have a wee read on my Friday lunchbreak! :)

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

No prob! Hope that wasn't too much information, I get really excited about research haha.