Am I transphobic if I don’t want to have sex with trans women? The answer is "complex" and somewhat rapey.

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 55 insightful - 4 fun55 insightful - 3 fun56 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

the patriarchy tells cis lesbians to fear trans women and vice versa.

LOL, no. The patriarchy completely abandoned lesbians and women. The patriarchy has already put trans identified men and boys in women's locker rooms, toilets, sports, prisons, and shelters. The patriarchy tells women/lesbians to shut the fuck up and worship the dick.

If you need to write a whole essay to try to change someone's mind about why they should be sexually attracted to someone they aren't sexually attracted to, you are a rape-enabler. You are participating in social coercion.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 36 insightful - 5 fun36 insightful - 4 fun37 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

For real. The patriarchy is all about the dick, since ancient Rome and Greece. Everything revolves around that sausage, and if phallo isn't involved then sex isn't real. Really all this dick-shoving BS is nothing more than old patriarchy and sexist phallocentrism, but with men dresses as women. It is worst than normal patriarchy, more sutble, more difficult to face since it portraits itself as a minority victim. That's why genderism and trying to erase sex, ultimately is super sexism, because it is allows old sexism. JK Rowling was totally right. Trying to deny sex, allows sexism against women and homophobia to run freely

[–]julesburm1891 24 insightful - 4 fun24 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

...the patriarchy tells lesbians not to exist and to be straight. You know, pretty much exactly like transwomen tell lesbians.

[–]8bitgay 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right? I love how their vision always depends on this magical universe where society teaches gays and lesbians how to love the same sex. I've seen this argument so much, as if somehow the only reason we aren't dating trans is because we are conditioned to like the same sex.

This only shows that they have no idea what is to grow up as gay/lesbian.

[–]Lessom 42 insightful - 4 fun42 insightful - 3 fun43 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

Typical brainwashing tactics being used by this creep. He starts out by saying lesbians don’t have to fuck trans women, it’s their body so their choice. Should have left it there but as expected he doesn’t.

He starts going on about violence being committed against trans women (what does that even have to with the question being asked?). I’m convinced the trans cult have a ready made script ready for this to include in anything they write. Not wanting to fuck a trans person is like violence people.

Then he goes on about all trans women not looking the same and that the world would be a better place if lesbians were open to ‘new possibilities’ to achieve ‘erotic joy’ by fucking trans women 🤮 Loads of nonsense and regret wasting time reading it.

[–]8bitgay 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

He starts out by saying lesbians don’t have to fuck trans women, it’s their body so their choice. Should have left it there but as expected he doesn’t.

This is so typical. They love saying in the same breath "oh no nobody is saying you should date X" and then go listing all the reasons why you should date X and why it's bad if you don't.

[–]saged 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I find it so disgusting how they add violence commented against them in these conversations. The people harming transwomen physically aren't lesbians who won't sleep with them. It's men who sleep with them, get tricked or are homophobic & hateful. However sometimes it feels like lesbians not wanting to sleep with them is on the same level as men killing and harming them to some of these trans folks.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And the trans people who get "murdered" because lesbians won't sleep with them aren't even the same category as trans people who get murdered IRL. I spent some time going through all the reported trans deaths in America in the last few years some months back, and it was mostly low-income and/or homeless black or latino trans women who were most often killed by guns and most likely by men who slept with them or were involved with them, or because of a drug situation gone wrong, and some of them were pretty young, like 17/18. Some of them were suspected to be killed by fellow trans women, or a family member.

It's really such a scumbag move to use these deaths to try to get laid.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Not validating them is like killing a woman inside them!

[–]julesburm1891 36 insightful - 2 fun36 insightful - 1 fun37 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

If you cite Riley Dennis as a source for your argument, you’re a rapey asshole with nothing to contribute. Change my mind.

[–]Franklintheturtle 20 insightful - 4 fun20 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

exactly. The person goes on about how trans women don't harass women to sleep with them, and then cites that person lol

[–]julesburm1891 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

On top of writing a convoluted article where the entire premise was, “if you don’t consider sleeping with transwomen you’re engaging in ‘desirability politics’ and reducing people to their body parts.”

[–]Seahorse 34 insightful - 5 fun34 insightful - 4 fun35 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

The ironic thing about this is, no matter how much they screech and transplain, lesbians will continue to NOT be attracted to transwomen.

They can write article after article, meme after meme and thread after thread.

Lesbians aren't fucking transwomen.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 33 insightful - 16 fun33 insightful - 15 fun34 insightful - 16 fun -  (1 child)

"Lesbians aren't fucking transwomen"

Correct in double meaning.

Lesbian aren't transwomen and also they're not doing them :D

[–]Seahorse 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That was totally intentional 😁🤣

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 29 insightful - 8 fun29 insightful - 7 fun30 insightful - 8 fun -  (3 children)

It's always the ugly ones who say this shite, funny how your average male incel is shunned for these views but if he declares himself a true and honest whamen he's ultra valid and his lack of dating options is nothing other than political discrimination and bigotry

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 11 insightful - 11 fun11 insightful - 10 fun12 insightful - 11 fun -  (0 children)

I think I’ve always been too distracted by your username to notice your flair lol.

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts 15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Regular incel = 😡😴

Incel wearing a dress = 😍🤩

also that is the best username + flair I've seen on this site so far

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aw that put a smile on my face, thanks bruh

[–]a_blue_bird 30 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 0 fun31 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

You also identify as someone who loves women, and I imagine that you love more than their genitalia and their outward appearance. So what does this mean for your assertion that you are not attracted to trans women?

They're always using the definition of political lesbianism to define lesbians. Guys, please look at the actual definition of homosexuality. It's not about ''loving'' a certain ''gender identity''. It is sexual attraction to your own sex.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

You also identify as someone who loves women, and I imagine that you love more than their genitalia and their outward appearance. So what does this mean for your assertion that you are not attracted to trans women?

It means I'm not attracted to trans women, Kai.

"Assertation" for fuck's sake. Genitalia and outward appearances are two of the main dealbreakers about whether someone with a fantastic personality will become more than a friend. These people are so demisexualphobic, the way they think everyone should automatically be attracted to everyone else. I make fun of demisexuals A LOT, but I feel like, at least in high school, being a lesbian and calling yourself demi or asexual might be the easiest way to prevent trans from trying to crowd-source bullying you into touching their dick.

[–]HollywoodLESBIAN 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

They always play the "well you're not ONLY attracted to this person's genitalia, therefore genitalia shouldn't matter at all" card. Your genitalia is a literal prerequisite that determines whether or not I'm even capable of being attracted to you. And once again, what's the difference between thinking this and trying to get gay people to have sex with the opposite sex? Should gay men automatically be attracted to butch women since they're masculine presenting? Should lesbians automatically be attracted to feminine men with long hair? That's not how any of this works and they know that.

[–]soundsituationI myself was once a gay 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This logic can be taken to ever more ridiculous conclusions. Why limit your attraction to humans? I imagine you love more than bipedalism and opposable thumbs, so why reduce your dating pool to these trivial features?

That's not how any of this works and they know that.

I agree. They know it's a barrier to entry and not the sum total of attraction, but they'd rather play dumb and hope it gaslights a few victims in the process.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Why limit your attraction to humans?

That's an idea, why they would not just date rocks? Rock can't say "no".

[–]Jinera 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right? It's also not about "identifying as". No. People don't identify as a certain sexual orientation, we are born that way. I don't identify as someone who loves woman, I am same sex attracted and so a lesbian.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You also identify as someone who loves women, and I imagine that you love more than their genitalia and their outward appearance.

This statement is so misleading and manipulative. In the span of one sentence:

  • Implying you are a bad person if you do NOT "love" someone because of their "genitalia and outward appearance".

  • Purposefully obscuring the meaning of the word "love" in this context.

I "love" my siblings and friends for "more than their genitalia or outward appearance"-- because that kind of love doesn't require physical chemistry or compatibility. Romantic/sexual love, however, DOES. Or else it would not be romantic/sexual. I think this sentence is some carefully constructed wordplay designed to obfuscate which meaning of "love" is being used.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 6 fun22 insightful - 5 fun23 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

Video blogger Riley Dennis asserts that it comes from the persistent social stereotype that trans women are not really women at all...

How is it a stereotype? They're men who think they have pink brains.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 15 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Lol. We need to direct everyone to Riley bc to see Riley is to look in the face of trans crazy. He was central in my peaking. And yet he kept peaking on me, that “big ole lesbian.” 🤮

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Your submission has been removed due to:

    Rule 4. Disallowed Language

    Our sub seeks to champion LGB people of a variety of backgrounds, and want all of our LGB users to feel welcome. We do not allow specific ideological slang/terms to be used which may be used in a negative or divisive context. These include, but are not limited to: TIM/TIF, Timmy/Tiffany, MTT/FTT, etc

    We suggest using the following terminology instead: trans-identified (fe)male, trans (wo)man, trans natal (fe)male, trans people, FTM / MTF

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    [–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah[S] 16 insightful - 10 fun16 insightful - 9 fun17 insightful - 10 fun -  (1 child)

    Feel free to chat with Xtra on their Twitter feed, where they are busy fending off the evil transphobes who don't like ladycock.

    [–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    They are making it SO MUCH WORSE by replying to the people who are venting on the thread. I'm not going to cut/paste because you've already seen it, but the "this is rapey!" "no it's not!" replies from the Xtra account are just grating on my nerves in a brand new way. They also managed to destroy the word "nuanced." "Nuanced" just means "we have so many different and insidious ways to make you question your own judgment and sanity and back you in a corner where if you don't agree with us, you are a horrible person."

    [–]Penguinberri 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    The article started fine then just devolved into "conversion therapy to love penis, with extra steps"

    [–]chazzstrong 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    In fact, when researching this column, I could find no significant statistics at all of trans women committing violence against cisgender women

    Fucking WHAT?

    Also, nothing Riley Dennis says or does is 'nuanced' or 'intelligent'. I try not to be a mean person, but I legitimately hate that piece of shit.

    [–]zephyranthes 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    somewhat

    [–]divingrightintowork 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

    Lol hey friend of mine used to date him for a while. He's a gay dude. An effeminate gay dude.

    He's definitely pretty biased about trans stuff, no I did look at his other articles and I thought this was a decent feminist perspective in addressing much older much younger relationships - It's two gay men, but it's a dynamic that plays out among straigt people much more often.

    https://www.dailyxtra.com/age-gap-relationship-gay-couple-177736

    [–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 20 insightful - 5 fun20 insightful - 4 fun21 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

    Will this gay dude lick a pussy, since he thinks genitalia don't matter?

    [–]divingrightintowork 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Probably not.

    [–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    HOLD UP! According to this, Kai is a "trans woman" now? Or am I misinterpreting something? In the link you posted (scrolling down, there's a video of him talking) and he just seems like a very femmy gay dude??

    https://twitter.com/FindingDore/status/1306481366440214528?s=20

    [–]divingrightintowork 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    He came out as a tw about ten years ago.

    [–]RippoffOfLoveSStraight | Overuses quotation marks 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Men, as a category, are the primary perpetrators of sexual violence.

    And if you start calling yourself a woman, that behavior goes away in a flash! Wearing a dress simply makes one incapable of sexual violence, after all. Or in the case of FtM, they'll start becoming more violent in order to become more manly!

    [–]ColoredTwice 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Am I transphobic if I can say 'no'?

    What a rapey question they're asking.

    [–]chazzstrong 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Oh man, the ratio on that twitt though!
    It's the little moments of sanity that give me relieved, happy thoughts.

    [–]HappyGay 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Oh my god, that is one fuck of a word salad for something that should have been a simple “No, it is not transphobic to have preferences.” But that answer actually takes guts to say in this era.

    [–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    So this is rape culture... Which is inherently excused and ignored by those in power. All of these demands and rapid changes almost makes it seem like trans women actually aren't oppressed at all and have all of the privilege of a straight man. Hmmm

    [–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It is almost like they are straight men.