We need to abolish gender, bring the discourse back to destroying gender stereotypes, we are the progressives here.

submitted by Ambisextrous from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 23 insightful - 7 fun23 insightful - 6 fun24 insightful - 7 fun -  (4 children)

I honestly feel like I'm doing a lot of "damage" just by existing as a feminine, non-stereotypical, non-flamboyant-for-straight-entertainment, male.

It's a win-win. TRAs get angry because I'm feminine/androgynous yet still call myself a guy, and am not a "trans woman" or "nonbinary." They're also mad because I'm intersex and still consider myself male and not some kind of alien third sex (which they use for their "sex isn't real" arguments). Conservatives are mad because I go against "traditional" gender roles. Straight people and other gay people alike are mad because I'm a feminine guy, yet I'm not "submissive" and ditzy, I still have an attitude.

And just about everyone is mad that my femininity is well... natural (as in body shape) and non-forced. If I was female I would probably be called "tomboyish" for wearing dark clothes and liking some "boy stuff."

See, that's the category that pisses everyone off. If you're a hyperfeminine, caricatured MTF or gay man, people are okay with that, because they believe feminine = weak, silly, hysterical, and that you're still conforming to their roles, just by going to the opposite one. (And it's profitable. Funny Hilarious Flamboyant Gay Man is entertaining and makes money. Normal ass androgynous person who doesn't exist to be stunning and dramatic doesn't.)

But if you're in the middle? If you like both "girl things" and "boy things?" If you played with both dolls, dinosaurs, and cars as a kid? If you wear makeup but also have a "masculine" personality (aka, being assertive and standing up for yourself)? That freaks people the fuck out. They see that as a threat because you can't be shoved into a box.

When people criticize and insult me, it basically always boils down to my looks and how "girly" I am. And when someone is visibly upset by the fact that I'm GNC, yet don't fit their expectations (eg: A neckbeard starts throwing a tantrum because I'm a feminine guy but not a submissive pornified "femboi") I feel like my life energy is renewed. I will feed off their tears and I will use it to continue being an androgynous trouble-maker. There's no stopping it.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Brofist from femme top who collect dolls and dominates masculine guys.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I love your attitude and I hope you never change

[–]CrashCourse 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Who'd a thunk it? GNC defying expectations.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This gives me life :)

Not that I'm intersex. Or male. Or butch. Or was ever anything even close to a tomboy. But when it comes to being "in the middle", as you put it?

Me too.

'Cause even though my natural inclinations have always been pretty female-typical (or at least "gender-neutral"), the way that I expressed them apparently wasn't.

Too cerebral; too analytical. Not taking enough of a real-world, social form, where they could translate into emotional labor for others, esp. guys. (For example, despite my abiding interest in fashion/makeup/glamor, I've never much cared to actually WEAR any of it.)

Doesn't seem like much of a gender-violation, you say? Tell THAT to all the people who've taken offense at it over the years! Because they've certainly made me suffer for it, from school bullies to my own family.

Granted, it's not quite the same thing as the Reptilian version... but still seems to qualify for gender "middle-ness" (at least if the way that it freaks people out is any indication).

And yes, that makes us a threat. But not just because we can't (and, moreover, won't) be shoved in a box, I think.

Because we are living proof that, in reality, there IS no box AT ALL.

THAT'S what freaks them out. Evidence of gender being an illusion.

And it certainly is. A profoundly-harmful one. So I love that you're doing it damage every day. Just by being yourself.

And I especially love the form that this takes. Your unabashed natural femininity, which you won't allow to be misunderstood as weakness, or as conflicting with maleness/"masculine"-assigned qualities. As someone female who's always been a gender-offender for having a feminine sensibility in a non-feminine way... just knowing that you're out there makes me happy. (Plus I love the way you wrote this, too. Finally: an online manifesto that I can actually get behind!)

TL;DR: what HE said! (And that the gender-middle comes in many forms, including females with an essentially-feminine sensibility having an insufficiently-feminine approach to it. And maybe that the outrage it provokes isn't so much about being unable to fit gender-middlers into a box as their disproving said box's very existence.)