Respectful Requests: Please no personal attacks! Attack the argument, not the poster. Also, request for male posters to please identify themselves as male.

submitted by BEB from self.GenderCritical

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[–]WildApples 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I just read the exchange and, while he was clearly critical of a part of your message, I would not call it an attack just as I would not call the line you wrote about conservative women bigoted. He reasonably explained why he disagreed with your characterization of conservative women, and I found his explanation rather enlightening because it was not really about you so much as about the way feminist spaces can unfortunately become echo chambers.

I do not know many conservatives, so I'll admit to having what might be a caricature view of conservative women as being anti-choice and regressive about female roles. That same perception has played out in a lot of feminist spaces, and I've seen feminists argue against partnering with conservative women on GC issues for that reason. He is highlighting that in this way, we can be our own enemy.

Clearly, that is not you, but I can imagine it is probably pretty isolating to identify as conservative in spaces like this, and I can see why he had a lot of pent-up frustration that you became the unfortunate target of. At the end of the day, I do not think his criticism was as much about you as it was about all of us and our need to see beyond our potentially myopic viewpoints.

And since, as you said, it was a throwaway line anyway, maybe accept the criticism and acknowledge that all conservative women do not believe women should only be wives and mothers or disregard it because ultimately it does not matter to your main point that we all need to organize against the Equality Act. It seems like you and he have more in common that not. You both want women of all political stripes to come together to combat TRA attacks on women. I hope you two can overcome your differences and fight the good fight in a united front.

Either way, I appreciate you and your efforts to keep us mobilized! You've motivated me to start drafting letters to my members of Congress. :-)

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

He is highlighting that in this way, we can be our own enemy.

I'm also a conservative, and gay, man, so its always interesting to read the GC crowd's take on right-leaning women. This (transanity) is one of the issues where I think we all need all the help we can get in order to stop it.

[–]Rationalmind 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agree, good insight.

[–]BEB[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So glad you're motivated - the Senate Democrats have now announced they're putting the Equality Act up too, so please write your senators too as well as Cory Booker, Tammy Baldwin and Jeff Merkley, the Senators pushing it.

RE: the man w the UK activist mother. Did you see in his second post when he made something up about me calling conservative women "pond scum" - I did no such thing - that was pure defamation. Maybe he deleted his second post, but it was pretty attack-y.

Here's the thing: We all come from wildly different backgrounds and we're of different ages. I am possibly much older than many on this board, including him. I grew up with women whose only goal was to be wives and mothers. It's why I get along so well with conservative women, including those who want to be wives and mothers only - they were my childhood friends.

I see nothing wrong with choosing to be a wife and mother - in fact being a mother I think is the most challenging job in the world. That wasn't my point: my point was that conservative women who don't think that women should work outside the home were out there organizing to save women's rights/safe spaces and sports, while so many "feminist" women I couldn't even get to pick up the phone and call Congress.

Anyway, I am so glad that you're taking action!!!!