I'm dying to know the what the socially-constructed roles of gender-diverse people are. Getting bad haircuts and dyeing their hair with Kool-Aid? Sharing their bespoke pronouns with everyone they meet? Some cultures with third genders (hirja, fa'afine) do indeed have specific roles for such people but none of them apply to western they/thems.

I'm sure all of what you said is exactly how they would describe it lol. And yeah I actually have done some more reading into the Hirja, Kathooey, and Two-Spirit cultures and something I found VERY telling about their origins is that they were given to men who didn't conform to masculine gender roles. In the case of Two Spirit, they never claimed that these men were women but they did say that they weren't "fully men neither" (aka not fully masculine). Same deal with the Hirja, effeminate men who didn't exude masculinity pretty much (though they eventually threw in women into the mix though I can't remember the word they called these masculine women).