One of the things that struck me about the convo over this on ovarit and reddit both is that everyone seemed to think the main reason a woman's partner and some others might attend a birth are to "witness" and "see" it.

I attended births in the 70s and 80s, gave birth in the 90s, and took childbirth preparation courses. Back then, the only reason anyone other than the woman giving birth might be present for labor and birth would be to support, assist and comfort the mother - or to support and step in for a faint of heart, exhausted or squeamish father and to corral and comfort any kids who might be present too.

In childbirth preparation courses back then, the emphasis was exclusively on all the ways anyone attending a birth could help a woman going through labor and birth, and perhaps pitch in to give relief to a father or partner in the case of a prolonged, difficult labor and delivery. There was no mention or discussion of anyone being there just to watch, see, witness or "take in the experience" to fulfill their own selfish needs or desires, or to satiate their curiosity. And good thing too, coz all that sounds like a very creepy kind of voyeurism and tourism.

My (male) partner was present when I gave birth, but he was helping to brace me as I squatted. The only person who witnessed the births was my ob-gyn, who was lying on her back on the floor under me.

In all the depictions of more conventional hospitalized vaginal births that I've seen on TV and in movies where a woman giving birth vaginally is shown lying on her back on a table or semi sitting up in sort of a birthing chair, her partner is behind her cradling her and soothing her, or at her side holding her hand and comforting her and wiping her brow. The partner or birth helper is never located in position where she or he can witness the baby coming out. Only the midwife or doctor is smack in front of her vaginal opening to see the baby coming out. (And obviously, the filmmakers in these scenarios were behind the midwife or doctor.)

Similarly, when women have C-sections, if their partners or other intimates are allowed in the OR, I always thought this was primarily so they could comfort the mother, not watch the surgery and witness the baby coming out. Customarily, anyone with the mother in the OR is placed by her side behind the screen with her, where they can hold her hand and help allay her fears. They're not supposed to be standing next to the surgeons so they can get a really good gander at the baby being pulled out coz they're not supposed to be there for the purpose of witnessing the birth.

This focus on watching, seeing and witnessing birth is disturbing to me. It seems lot of people nowadays regard labor and childbirth and all the suffering that women go through in the process as just another spectator sport.