I waited until SO was gone and then I called fmil for a supportive chat.

Really, it was supportive. I told her that we'd bought this flannel snap front housecoat because I heard she was cold. I breached, very cautiously, the issue of how if SO dropped her (or him) it would kill SO and she's like, "Oh that would never happen." She thinks that she can take care of the diaper by herself and if she can't, then DIL will be along.

She divulged that the pain in her back is probably caused by one of the two forms of cancer that she has. I was only aware of one, but whatever.

Then she pipes up with "well the doctors say I can go home." Oh rly. What can I say, I suggested that if it's possible to give us 12, 24 hours. She's also divulged that the doctors also told her she'd be in the hospital for a few more times.

She insists on this, because a hospital is not the dreaded nursing home, and she will be discharged soon enough eventually to the arms of her loving DIL who never has had employment and whose whole existence is being Martha Stewart for her DH and now them, and her unemployed son (which they're supposed to be paying to be there, $25/hr x 12 x 30, that's $9,000 month. Which, frankly, I will expect $2,500 of, because that's about what's come out of my bank account while sponsoring these pandemic delays. Assuming that first month will come at all.

Let me say also that when he was getting the sweet pandemic benefits, the trump eo benefits, all those monies rapidly disappeared because he was paying the harbormaster for his boat. And making sure he paid his storage. He wants to have that shit, that's totally independent and I got stiffed over it.

A month of him sleeping by himself in an attic bedroom last occupied by him in HS 37 years ago might wake him up. Or not. I don't do the housewife thing at all. I'm extremely bad at the domestic arts and not interested in them at all.

I don't feel the need to go sleep with him at that place beyond extremely occasionally, because she's told me herself that she can do her didy and if that's an issue then the hero DIL will do it. Fine then he can deal with his mom's wet diaper at 2 in the morning after assisting her and hoping he doesn't break her or calling 911. Or the ffil at that point.

She's made it clear I don't have a role here beyond the emotional support of SO, whom they would gladly welcome into the fold as a 18, a 24 hour dogsbody because they can offer him the room he lived in "rent free." And frankly, that's because unlike DIL I am not willing to volunteer for free, nor am I'm not interested in being a storage unit. If he's not going to be here ever then he can get his shit out and over to their house and she will cry about how unsightly it is and how it takes up backyard space. I really do not give a shit right now.

I'm not the one who needs their housing or their food. If he's invested in living there over having a relationship, better to know now than later, I guess.