Why do so many women deny the existence of misogyny?

submitted by RedditHatesLesbians from self.GenderCritical

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[–]Immortallogic 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I think it's intimately tied with the nucleur family, basic patriarchy, and biology, and it runs super deep, from the beginning of socialization. Most women are male identified and, if they decide to get married or settle down with a man and have kids, they HAVE to accept certain roles and things.

Another part I've come to realize is simply biology. Women are the childbearers and empathetic ones who protect the vulnerable and care. Childbirth and pregnancy often wreck havoc in women's bodies, but that is simply how we've evolved. Men are the aggressors and ones who are more prone to violence. The first step is realizing and accepting that. There are degrees to that and exceptions of course, for both sexes, but that is the reality. That's why women are categorically underappreciated and mothers, especially. That's why rape and sexual assaults often get very light penalties (men are in charge usually). For me, the first part of breaking free of the constraints of being a female was the firm decision not to procreate, because honestly, that's a HUGE portion of it.

Then, learning to unlearn all the things (or most) from socialization and the first terror of realizing what a blatantly sexist world we live in, from movies and shows that show women as shells of people and sex objects, to the very real experience of many women who are truly trapped in terrible relationships with men because they have had kids, or were not brought up to rely on themselves and therefore don't have the sense of independence or backbone to make it alone. The number of horror stories of women who are putting up with alarming things on Reddit are insane, and yet they don't want to leave. Not to say all marriages are like this, but I strongly believe most marriages are unequal to the women (whether or not she's chosen that... And many do). That doesn't mean there can't be love it other things, but it's just the way it is.

I also think that biologically, and exacerbated by socialization, by and large, women are the sex that want to be led. If they didn't, people like us wouldn't be as fringe. Misogyny and sexism and even paternalism is deeply tied to all of this.

And yes, libfem. Obviously. This bullshit about sexualization of self and bdsm and all the rest being EmPoWeRiNg. But we all know that.

[–]RedditHatesLesbians[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I also don't want children and that's a big reason why. I'm a lesbian so it'll never happen accidentally, but I would never use a sperm donor or adopt or anything like that regardless.

I wonder if lesbians and gay men are the exceptions, in a way? While, sure, some lesbians want biological children, I think that's a small minority

I find it weird how humans have evolved in such a way that pregnancy is so traumatic for women. You watch the labour of other animals and the kids just pop out and begin running 3 minutes later. With humans, our heads are too big and our hips are too narrow. I think people forget just how many women died during childbirth nowadays with modern medicine. Biology is definitely not something to be dismissed. Men needed to be the aggressors when we had to be in such a vulnerable state just to procreate and when our children take such a long time to be self sufficient to any degree. Taken away from our natural environment, those roles play out in different ways. The question then becomes what would a perfect society look like? Equal in every way isn't realistic since we seem innately different in many ways. Men will always be much stronger than women, and men will always seek to dominate. So is equality even possible?

It's interesting how males are seen as the default sex even though women are the ones to procreate, though. Women are the ones with the ability to replicate ourselves, we all start out as female in the womb. Yet women are seen as imperfect men, an idea both in the Bible and in culture as a whole.

[–]MarkTwainiac 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Wow, you sure do know a lot for someone 16! I don't mean that to sound ageist - after all, 16 is an age of peak intellectual and academic performance and curiosity generally, & there are a lot of knowledgable, learned teenagers today as there were in the past. Still, your comments have struck me as particularly impressive in their breadth and incisiveness. So I jus wanted to say: Brava!

[–]RedditHatesLesbians[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks. I don't think it's ageist at all. Most people are idiots let alone most teenagers, I think it's just a lack of experience/perspective thing. And I'm not exempt from that, I just ask a lot of questions. The more questions I ask the less I realise I know about the world.