"Vanilla shame" - yet another byproduct of liberal feminism?

submitted by vitunrotta from self.GenderCritical

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[–]TalkToTheVoid 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I almost completely agree with you. I'm not super sure where I've landed on other people doing consensual things in privacy.

What I know I'm super sure about is that shaming anyone for "vanilla" sex is the worst.

Very recently, a friend of mine was shamed by a so called feminist man she met on Tinder, using exactly this word - "vanilla". She said she hasn't tried anal sex and is also not interested in it, and he dismissively called her vanilla. She wasn't as incensed as I was about it, but after we'd discussed it a bit, she did think it warranted some push back. So she told him it isn't cool to shame her for her sex-related boundaries, and he said he "wasn't judging". Really? Why would you feel the need to call a prospective sex-partner boring, if not to judge them as a sex-partner? She then asked him if HE would want to be anally penetrated, since as a man he's got a prostate and will feel it more, and suddenly he was all defensive and "I'm vanilla too". Except he called only her vanilla to begin with when they were discussing sex, and admitted to his own vanillaness only after she pushed back the next time they talked.

It was so obvious he'd never even considered the question. As a straight-man he was so sure he should get to put his penis anywhere he wants to, and a woman who disagrees is being a boring stick in the mud. But his anus is obviously not in play.

This type of man uses "feminist" like a weapon to disarm women. I'm so mad even thinking about him again.

[–]moody_ape 23 insightful - 5 fun23 insightful - 4 fun24 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

they always assume the penetrated person in anal is going to be the woman. and they expect women to be penetrated in every orifice. 100% of my sexual partners asked for anal sex, including the one who took my virginity. after a having sex with me a few times, there he was "would you do anal sex?". and don't come say "oh are you seriously complaining that the guys politely ask you for anal? they are doing nothing wrong!" well, if they are asking, that's because they expect it. otherwise, they wouldn't even try. besides, i always said no and they always questioned "but why? but many women like it! but i'll be careful not to hurt you! but it can be relly good for you too! but but but!"

i really wish men were the ones to be penetrated in sex everytime because i hate being so vulnerable for the mere possibility or maybe who knows having something that resembles an orgasm.

my philosophy now is: masturbation now, masturbation tomorrow, masturbation forever.

[–]vitunrotta[S] 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ditto. The question inevitably pops up sooner rather than later, and if you say no, you're a vanilla prude. But my lord if you were to suggest to a guy if you may kindly thrust this 30cm dildo up their butt... We all know how they'd react to that.

Also, as pointed by u/Finnegan7921 "feminist men" are largely just a bunch of pseudointellectual twats who are here to explain feminism for you. (The grace! The nobility! Let us all bow down in front of their unmatched genius!)

I used to date a self-proclaimed "feminist man", who also happened to anally rape me (as a revenge for a previous disagreement). He would also condescendingly teach what the book Madame Bovary was about - to my feminist friend who had a PhD in literature. Truly a gift for women, this bloke. What a self-absorbed, egotistic ballsack of a human that guy is. Blergh.

[–]TalkToTheVoid 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I didn't say it in my previous reply. I realized it after I saw another reply. I'm sorry you had to go through such violence at the hands of a man you probably trusted.

[–]vitunrotta[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, he was truly a piece of shit. He did a lot more damage than that - stuff I am dealing with still today.

This guy is very well respected in his circles and is basically considered uomo universale. It makes my blood boil that so many people consider him as some sort of a demigod, when in reality he is a conceited, uppity rapist.