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[–]MarkTwainiac 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You're not alone. At all. Many of us who've been lifelong feminists and who've always been "left" and "progressive" share your dismay. For the past 10 or so years since I started closely following the current transgender craze and looking into it deeply, I personally have often thought I am going out of my effin' mind. I have lost many nights of sleep over it.

A good source to check out is Feminism chat on Mumsnet. Tons of resources and lots of women who think/feel just like you. Though it's a UK-based site, there are women from various countries there - and there's lots of general discussions that are applicable to what's going on in myriad countries.

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

There are also numerous long-running threads there by/about "transwidows" that go into detail about family situations like the one your FIL has created. First thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3101834-trans-widows-escape-committee

Also: https://childrenoftransitioners.org/

Tons of great sources out there. You might want to start with https://www.peaktrans.org/

Also: https://4thwavenow.com/2017/11/02/no-glitter-life-dont-be-swayed-by-middle-aged-transitioners/

[–]tuesday 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

haha I posted so similar! That break it down for me thread is so excellent for those just getting started.