I'm so sorry.

I pretty much lost my best friend of 14 years to this. At first I had a live and let live mentality and she had a friend who was a TiF. I respected their pronouns and went about my business. As the years progressed and I opened my eyes to the nonsense, I saw my friend go down the rabbit hole of BS. Her Twitter is filled with the typical TRA mantras but what really got me was her use of the word N*zi. When we start misusing terms that carry a very deep and painful history to describe women who DARE to question views, especially against men, that's when I know sanity has gone out the window.

She emailed me to check in on me recently after a year of me ceasing communication. She was worried because I live in a COVID-19 hotspot but I haven't responded. Part of me really wants to tell her that I no longer feel safe communicating with her because I'm one of those pesky TRF NZIS she hates so much. She's an intelligent, blunt, gender nonconforming woman with a history of sexual abuse at the hands of men; I do not get why she's on the wrong side of the fence.

There is a part of me that feels like deep down she's questioning all of this somewhere in her mind but won't come out with it because she's scared. I know she's always felt ostracized by society due to her size, so I sense she almost feels this obligation to side with anyone who cries oppression, whether or not the claim is legitimate. A lot of her friends are socially awkward, anime obsessed, tumblr users who self-diagnose as autistic or with mental illness. She has an open heart and accepts anyone who accepts her. I've watched her get hurt in the past due to that. I feel like our relationship is strong enough where we'd be able to talk and hash out our differences or she'd eventually see the light but I am so afraid to find out her reaction that I chose the route of dropping communication with her. Even if she did accept my views, I cannot accept the flat out hatred of other women with the use of the word T*RF; I don't want to be her one exception to the rule. I'd rather remember the beautiful 14 years of friendship we had rather than having to reflect on what would most likely be a painful, final interaction between us.