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[–][deleted]  (3 children)

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    [–]Girlwiththeraventat 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Yes this is my life and its depressing as hell. I work a full time job, have a elementary age child and I'm going to college part time. But I'm still expected to clean the house, make the food, and take full care of the child. Meanwhile my husband thinks because he works a job that pays more, that's his only responsibility.

    We have had argument after argument that I need more help around the house. Which pisses me off that it should even be considered "help". Its his house too. His excuse is men can't see the mess and it's not mens fault that women wanted to leave the house and get jobs.

    So I either keep arguing about the same shit we've been arguing about for 10 years, accept that I am responsible for everything and everyone, or divorce him. If we do ever get divorced, I won't date or remarry. Theres just nothing in it for women.

    [–]our_team_is_winning 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I want to thank you for being so honest. I am in awe of you for all your hard work, and I'm impressed you're getting some college in too.
    Playing devil's advocate: You got to have a child. You have someone to share the bills with. I presume there are a lot of times when you know he loves you. Do you really think "there's just nothing in it for women" or just with this particular guy (who might be typical of most men, sadly)? The internet is awash with women posting about "my Dear Husband" and it makes me think I really missed out on something great -- is marriage ever a "win" for a woman? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Disclosure: I never married but I have always romanticized the idea of marriage, despite what I saw at home growing up.

    [–]Aquadog 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I always wanted to get married and I've been married for almost a year now. I'm a pretty cautious, nervous person. I think beyond all of the great qualities my husband has I probably partially married him to feel "safe." Even though I grew up with a great family my parents were very into traditional gender roles-I can't really imagine what my mom would be like on her own.

    Statistically, men gain a LOT more than woman from marriage: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/insight-therapy/201510/is-marriage-worth-it-women

    I like my husband. I like that there are certain legal and financial benefits to being married. But it is 100% more beneficial for him to be married to me than I to him.