quickbeam comments on Living in harmony with trans people. Is it possible? What are some compromises which would allow us to keep our spaces?

Living in harmony with trans people. Is it possible? What are some compromises which would allow us to keep our spaces?

submitted 3 years ago by [deleted] from self.GenderCritical

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[–]quickbeam 7 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 7 fun - 3 years ago (4 children)

I posted the "who are trans people you admire" because there was a lot of mean-spirited content being posted, and as a Buddhist and a person who tries to have dialogue with people on opposite sides of political issues regularly, I have never seen the value in cruelty, taunts, name-calling, or labeling all of any group as "bad." That's what the TRA's that most people here complain about are doing - labeling all gender critical people as "bad", calling names, insulting people. It's not only making the world a sadder, meaner place, but it also is just really really ineffective as a means of convincing anyone on the fence that your views are correct. I think this community can benefit from some positivity. You can uplift natal women and girls while also acknowledging the humanity and even positivity of trans people or if you can't do that, just at least not being mean-spirited.

[+][deleted] 3 years ago (3 children)

[deleted]

[–]quickbeam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (2 children)

I'm not trying to exhibit "smug superiority." I came to the belief that kindness and acceptance are more effective through my own interactions over my life both using a more combative/snarky communication style and later adapting the concept of "right speech" in communication. I came at Buddhism through working with actual Buddhist monks in a professional capacity. I grew up without a religion, and I'm not big on dogma, but what I found in the monks I worked with was a genuine humanitarianism and a feeling of peace I hadn't quite experienced before.

I don't think anger is shameful, and actually neither does Buddhism to the best of my knowledge. Buddhists definitely feel anger. I feel angry a lot. I think there was a time when I would have responded to your post by getting very reactive and insulting you in some way. But it wouldn't achieve anything. I might feel better for a nanosecond, but then you'd probably insult me again, and the cycle continues and in the end I'd feel like shit all day.

I support anger though. I understand anger. I understand a lot of people here have probably had really painful interactions with trans people and/or they are just angry by the assault on women's rights in general. That makes me angry too. I just think that in order to fight for women's rights in the most effective way, the case needs to be made in a calm, rational way that reaches out to all the potential allies we have - and that includes people in the trans community. It also includes a lot of people like myself who used to think they were for trans rights before they looked into the issue, but who will be majorly turned off by insulting or taunting trans people. The perception of "punching down" (whether or not it's really down in some cases) will turn people off. But the truth presented with calm will bring people in.

I bet you and I agree on a lot more than we disagree on. I bet if we met in a room we would get along. The internet tends to highlight differences rather than commonalities, however. And it makes it easier to insult each other. This worries me.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (1 child)

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