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[–]malleus_maleficarum 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One of the best things I figured out as an adult was that a lot of men are just as scared of violent men as I am. It was a good widening of perspective for me that let me truly hear more of what some of them had to say on the topic.

Also, I'm really tired of being told what boundaries I should have.

It feels recent: I've been noticing an uptick in this behaviour all around me for the last 5 years or so. I get that we all do it as humans: we all pick at each other and tell others what they should/n't do. It's part of being social animals. But it's a trait I'm trying hard to eliminate in myself (I'm always asking myself: Who do I want to be in two years?) and it's a primary issue that keeps me out of women's groups.

More and more I'm seeing other women dare to tell each other who they should vote for, where they should donate their money, etc. I want to hear other points of view, I may well agree after I hear them! But I'm not down with people judging each other as 'trash' or 'irrational' for having opposing experiences or voicing other opinions -- it feels like I'm constantly fighting the purity spiral in every single group I belong to. It's exhausting.