I feel like a coward. I hesitated to follow someone on Twitter because I thought it might make my followers dislike me

submitted by [deleted] from self.GenderCritical

While I was following gender critical women on Twitter my mind immediately went to "What if someone sees I'm following her and doesn't want to talk to me anymore? What if it ruins an opportunity for me? What if they notice she's on my list and treat me differently?"

With everything going on in the world right now it should be the least of my worries. We shouldn't have to feel on edge over a concept that should be common knowledge.

I felt kind of lame worrying about it.

all 12 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]FuriousPenguin 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

You aren't a coward. It's the state of the world. It's like we are in China or North Korea. Only the approved narrative is allowed. Any other behaviour is considered dissidence and people who indulge in it or question the 'mainstream" narrative are targeted. I have an alt account that me and a few other feminist friends use to keep up with what's happening. Most of us work for liberal woke orgs and we can't say anything against them because we'd get screwed. There's no freedom.

Everyone has to pretend the emperor's new clothes are awesome.

[–]DogeWalker 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Came here to say the same thing. OP you aren't a coward, you're intelligent enough to realize the present risk.

People tried to cancel J.K. Rowling, even before this year, because she Liked certain tweets. Even if you aren't that big of a celebrity, it's good to be aware that some people will watch for tiny details such as Likes and Follows.

It's a bullshit tactic designed to scare us, but you aren't cowardly just for recognizing the risk. (And in general, trusting your gut is very important -- check out The Gift of Fear book for more about that)

[–]FuriousPenguin 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Just imagine how jobless and wicked you must be in order to watch out for people's likes and follows. It is absolutely ridiculous!

[–]materialrealityplz 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Follows are a bit more hidden, but twitter has shown tweets that people you follow liked in your feed for awhile now. That feature is how I found out some people I followed liked stuff dunking on JKR. I wasn't digging into their profile, it came to me.

[–]FuriousPenguin 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Darn that's pretty shit, isn't it. Clearly I don't spend enough time on twitter. After this bit of knowledge I don't think I want to.

[–]DogeWalker 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have to hope that the majority are more jobless than they are wicked, lol.

[–]INeedSomeTime 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know what you feel. I use alt accounts to follow that stuff. Even here I avoided using a name I use across all social media. I don't think it is necessary being a coward. I think it's just making sure you're safe in the first place. Losing friends over your views means they aren't real friends in the first place - they'd try to ask why you think the way you think surely. My reason is just to avoid public shaming and hate. I have experienced it once a few years ago but for different reasons and it was very, very awful and scary.

[–]PassionateIntensity 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're not paranoid. They stalk and keep databases of women, they keep track of your likes. Long before JKR spoke out she was on their "suspicious" list for liking a Magdalen Berns tweet. I have an anonymous Twitter and am nobody but still got shadowbanned and made it onto blocklists.

[–]sisterinsomnia 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Make an alt Twitter account from an anonymous email account and keep it strictly separate? That way you can support the people you wish on Twitter and participate in the discussions if you wish.

Yes, the Scarlet Letter world is not a fun one to live in, especially when it is people from what you thought was your political tribe attacking you for wrongspeak.

[–]MonstrousRegiment 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's natural and human, not cowardly, to feel fear. We are social beings and there's a good reason ostracism is called "social death". Doing what's right anyway is what counts. You are the opposite of lame!

I will never forget the intense fear and the feeling my heart would come right out of my chest when I was asking a room full of "queer folk", many of them friends, to consider that femininity is ritualized submission (quoting the great Lierre Keith, is that right?) and that butch women are women. Hell, I'm feeling fear right now because I just outed myself to anyone who was there and remembers me doing this. waves

[–]nerio 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Don't feel bad, twitter is a cesspit. I don't even go on anymore. Don't waste time and effort feeling bad over that.

[–]Ossidiana 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Everyone here telling you you did good. I'm not entirely sure. The reason these things are happening is because most of the good people are scared into silence.

This is wrong. It's how nazism happened. More and more people will eventually join the wrong side, if they think the good side doesn't exist. And the good side looks like it doesn't exist because most of us are silent already.

If that's the situation, we have already lost and we can only watch the situation get worse and worse and worse until the breaking point. And then this entire sub is useless.