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[–]Chkn 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

In my kindergarden the bathrooms were just a row of mini toilets with no stalls and we all went together with a teacher supervision. maybe two sexes went in separately, maybe not, I have no memory of the peeing arrangement because at that age it doesn't really matter (I remember the hand washing part, tough). Beside that, adults should be really careful before pushing sexual (or gender) narratives on children too young to understand sex or assault. But even if the actual incident here was less problematic than it seems, the school should have foreseen that by forcing weird gender dynamics into the equation, it's just a matter of some bad leading questions from concerned parents to their clueless child (what is the trans kid doing in your bathroom, did he watch you, did he touch you?) to turn things very ugly, very quickly, for everyone involved.

[–]malleus_maleficarum[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

we all went together with a teacher supervision

Yep. At that age some kids are still having trouble getting on higher toilets, reaching faucets, etc. Who lets a five year old walk off alone like that?!

One can't help but think they are intentionally setting kids up to be assaulted or hurt.

Edit: It's pretty clear he assaulted her. They just can't prove it. So it's still problematic... if there is no intervention and no change in policy he will likely offend again... which is also scary for all the other kids who will interact with him.

Quote from the investigation: “The [school] district’s approach allows children of different biological sexes to mix in the bathrooms, an area where students may engage in misconduct out of sight of adult supervision. Given the serious nature of the reports of harassment reportedly occurring in school bathrooms, one might have anticipated the district would be extra vigilant in providing a proper response under Title IX.”

Interesting that they're maintaining an environment where they know it's a problem and they know there will be no witnesses next time either.

[–]MenAreFragileBabies 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I had a little boy look up my skirt from underneath my desk when I was six. Nothing was done by my teacher, and I was so upset. Thank god that girl's mother is standing up for her. I don't know if I even told anyone other than the teacher, because my teacher's response was so dismissive. It is so harmful to your psyche to be objectified that young.

Like many assault cases, nothing can be proved 100% because "he said she said" makes it a question of who is more trustworthy. I really hate that phrase, because it implies that evidence from women and girls is automatically less trustworthy or insufficient. You only need to prove something more likely than not happened in a civil suit, though. People get all upset over how quick folks are to sue, but that's the only way to get any justice in situations like this.

[–]malleus_maleficarum[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. When I was that age, a boy a couple years older was determined to beat my head in (with rocks, logs, etc). Any time I was alone he would try to run me down and smash my face. He was sneaky. He knew not to do it in front of his grandparents or anywhere someone might see the whole beating take place. He terrorized multiple girls at church. When girls complained, everyone said "boys will be boys" and laughed it off instead of making him stop.

It generally seems like only women care when their daughters are harmed.

If my mother, and other mothers, had not gone to his grandmother and issued direct private threats, he'd never have been stopped. Not a single father, elder, or male sunday school teacher gave a single solitary shit that a 7 year old boy was punching 5 and 6 y.o. girls in the head.

Like many assault cases, nothing can be proved 100% because "he said she said" makes it a question of who is more trustworthy. I really hate that phrase, because it implies that evidence from women and girls is automatically less trustworthy or insufficient.

Yep. And the doubt: "Are you sure that happened?" and ""Well we don't want to get little Charles thrown out of class do we." The older I get the more clearly I see just how young I was when people in positions of authority began showing me that I didn't matter as much because I was female, and how damaging those experiences were.