my entire world view and self perception is currently in flux. I watched trans people challenge the narrative and I just couldn’t by into it anymore. Frankly I feel brainwashed and I realise that statement in itself is controversial in the current climate.

My book recommendation is a bit oblique, but I hope it can help with the bits of your post that I've quoted. "Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World -- And Why Things Are Better Than You Think" by Hans Rosling

When people sling opinionated articles at me; when they flood me with stats and graphs; when they try to rush or scare me into agreeing with their claims that people are dying and it's an emergency; when negativity is overwhelming... When everyone else is rushing headlong out of control bombarding me with opinions and articles and videos, this book provides tools to step back and breathe. Feeling in control of the firehose of info so I can sit back and think critically for myself and filter through the garbage was an incredibly empowering feeling.

I hope it can do the same for you.