you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]Camberian 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Probably very unpopular opinion here, but I do not think that the people are trolls, who say that having children comes with setbacks and responsibilities and is a choice parents have made when having them.

People need to get [back] to the point where they understand that they can't have their cake and eat it too. Not unless they are willing to pay the much higher taxes and vote for the much more left-wing socialist political parties who are willing to ensure that these costs [of parenthood] are shouldered not by individuals, but instead by the solidly united commonality. That would be the only route which separates consequences from the deed for the individual parents.

Personally, I made the choice of not having children when I was 14. I never wavered from that. I'm an artist, I knew ahead that my work and children would never combine. Not because of a lack of someone else who'd take care of them (I live in a country with extensive parental aid, pregnancy leave and parental leave for BOTH parents as per choice, and I have friends and family where the men stayed at home and took/take care of the children for many years).

No, it was exactly this conundrum currently faced by so many parents, that decided me. I knew that I - if push comes to shove - would resent giving up time, work and goals to raise and maintain a child. And really, no child deserves having such a parent and such a mindset forced on them. It's not that difficult to reflect upon this and come to a decision.

Insofar I do feel sorry for this writer, but at the same time, I think she and her partner haven't thought things through enough prior to deciding to have children. I also think that if you want such specific societal problems to change, you really need to first set things in motion politically, and given where the USA currently are drifting, given that apparently so many already unfavourably view general health insurance, I doubt a socialised childcare is anywhere nearby. In such a societal climate complacency will bite you in the end.

For the moment all one can hope is that TPB quickly become more reasonable in the fight against infections and that they'll find a solid treatment and/or a vaccination.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The upshot of this is women doing that much more unpaid labor.

having children comes with setbacks and responsibilities and is a choice parents have made when having them.

But men by and large don't have to make that tradeoff choice--it's the women who get the setbacks and responsibilities. I don't have children either...but whenever I think about the toll this is having on women who do, I'm really bummed for them. Yes, the cost needs to be shouldered by the community with higher taxes, but that's not where we are, and I really feel for them. And from a selfish perspective, the inequalities that come out of this have an effect on all women as a class.

[–]Camberian 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, the cost needs to be shouldered by the community with higher taxes, but that's not where we are, and I really feel for them. And from a selfish perspective, the inequalities that come out of this have an effect on all women as a class.

If anything, I would hope that afterwards, when there is the leisure and ability to reflect about what happened, that women would again band together realising that equality hasn't been achieved yet by a mile and then some. That there are more changes to actively work for, especially by those women who want to combine work and children. I think that liberal feminism has become too complacent in that respect and somehow believes the war has been won, when it was just a squirmish or two.