Radical feminism has a humanity problem

Camberian · 2021-07-29T03:38:10+00:00

Great article. It tables the exact problems I have with radical feminism. Well written.

Camberian · 2021-07-22T09:22:31+00:00

That's only logical, as in the recent past it still was accepted and acknowledged that gender dysphoria is a mental illness. Even trans people did. Today the current lore says it's all fine instead.

Camberian · 2021-06-21T11:41:05+00:00

Unbelievable. I never thought they'd do this. How horrid for the other participants.

Camberian · 2021-06-21T11:32:15+00:00

IDK, but few Americans ever came across as particularly individualistic to me.

As to the difference, I'd say one part is politeness, but another part is the live and let live attitude of a lot of British people. I'd guess they see being trans per se a justifiable spleen, whereas exploiting it is seen as very bad form.

Camberian · 2021-02-24T14:01:48+00:00

Try http://booklikes.com

The owners are Polish, it is hosted in Europe AFAIK and I doubt they have a problem with anything gendercritical.

librarything.com also appears to have no problem shelving GC books.

Camberian · 2020-11-05T10:36:41+00:00

Completely cray-cray.

Camberian · 2020-10-24T06:51:39+00:00

Why would me being a BDSMer negate my radical feminism? The radical feminism I live, respects the aspects of people they can't and need not change. I can't change the fact that I am female any more than I can change the fact that I am a BDSMer.

Camberian · 2020-10-24T06:10:53+00:00

Firstly, women in BDSM do not automatically get assigned some passive (submissive, masochistic, bottom) role by the BDSM community. When women (and men) enter the community, they choose their own roles, and among those who experience their affinity early, the spread is even. You get about as many men and women into active and passive roles, and also a large number of people who switch roles regularly.

The disparity is somewhere else: more people (both men AND women) prefer passive roles, rather than active roles.

Secondly, of course you don't "get it". To understand BDSM you'd have to first acknowledge that this is a(n often sexual) affinity to certain physical and psychological sensations people of either sex experience involuntarily, yet live out fully consensually. They do not have a choice about whether or not they have that affinity.

The other thing you need to grasp is that people feel satisfied, feel better when able to live out their predilection. I've whipped both men and women, and - apart from minor physiological differences - both react similar and both physically and mentally ENJOY what I do. Just as much as I enjoy it.

By the way, I do not knowingly play with abuse or rape victims, I do not consider BDSM a means for therapy (this appears to be a very American thing), and I suggest to fellow players who have abuse or rape in their past, that before they engage in BDSM they should get therapy.

Lastly, as long as you view BDSM as an extension of abuse or rape, instead for what it is, you actively keep yourself from any chance of understanding it. Or in other words, you behave exactly like people used to behave towards lesbians and homosexuals before they became civilised enough to acknowledge that this is nothing people can stop themselves from being or doing or wanting.

Camberian · 2020-10-24T05:46:25+00:00

I was born with my BDSM affinity. It is a trait a lot of us BDSMers are born with, not just human beings either. You find variations of that in many species.

By the way, the assumption that women are submissives/masochists and men dominants/sadists is idiotic. That is pure porn industry nonsense. I'm female and I'm a sadist, not a sub or maso. I'm in good and numerous company, a lot of women are - one way or other - tops (active roles in BDSM), just as a lot of men are bottoms (passive roles in BDSM).

The distribution of males and females amongst tops and bottoms is, when you look at BDSMers who come by their BDSM preference early in their lives (I was four years old when I knew what I am), quite even. I'm not denying that - especially among those who enter BDSM late and as sort of a lifestyle choice or from a merely erotic angle - there is a disparity between the numbers of men and women seeking passive and active roles. I also don't disagree with the idea that this can be and probably is largely caused by traditional gender roles, just like a lot of social roles and behaviour.

However, that doesn't mean that BDSM affinities actually are spread uneven. They aren't. It also doesn't mean that BDSM is negative or a result of brainwashing. You could just as well claim that being a lesbian is something society brainwashes into women.

Camberian · 2020-09-24T16:35:42+00:00

That isn't age-play, however. Which is what the OP asked about.

Camberian · 2020-09-24T16:34:27+00:00

They are sadists or dominants, and no, they are mainly aroused by the submission of their partners.

Try Ray Blanchard and Kurt Freund. Both established the difference between paedophiles and age play/infantilism already in the 1990s.

Also:

Kaitlyn Hawkinson, Brian D. Zamboni: Adult Baby/Diaper Lovers: An Exploratory Study of an Online Community Sample. In: Archives of Sexual Behavior

Camberian · 2020-09-24T13:54:22+00:00

You need to start with how you define "kink", before you ask. But yes, age play is unrelated to paedophilia. The evidence is trustworthy, as most of it has been laid down by psycho-sexual scientists and researchers. Age play and adult baby play is linked to masochism instead of paedophilia.

Camberian · 2020-09-24T11:37:54+00:00

I started reading the first of the series, and like it. I'll work myself up to the fifth. It's the least I can do.

Camberian · 2020-09-24T04:21:40+00:00

I'd have to look it up again, as I own all the EMMA articles, but I believe the age of consent in medical cases (without parental consent) has already been lowered a while ago.

What I personally find so shocking is the complete and thorough level of censorship in all of the major publications, be it Spiegel, FAZ, Süddeutsche, Focus, you name it. It's not just that no critical articles are printed, it is already that far that no critical reader comments get published when trying to correct false information. So happened with Maya Forstater and JK Rowling, whose cases were completely misrepresented in the German media.

It's as if this has been festering under the surface, or maybe like a hostile takeover on the sly. In practically all the needful positions you have TRAs or TRA-friendly people sitting, who easily kill any and all criticism and thus dictate the public discourse. And yes, I agree with you, the general German Joe and Jane Public have no idea what this is about. They all still consider "transgender" being just a new word for, but meaning the same thing, as "transsexual": an extremely rare mental disease.

Camberian · 2020-09-24T04:10:16+00:00

Most Germans see no reason to be coy about their bodies in such a situation. It's natural, and also probably expression of less sexualisation and possessiveness. It's a feature of the German society, and other Northern European societies. I'd be sorry to see this natural approach to the human body be lost or diminished due to an influx of people less tolerant and unwilling to adapt.

Camberian · 2020-09-23T18:00:01+00:00

Who said that liberal feminists are any better?

I made the distinction between GC being the issue or the radfem approach of this forum and/or Ovarit and/or Spinster.

And sorry, but I'm not sorry for women who're othering me. I can sympathise with some goals, as obviously I do regarding trans and GC. But that's as far as I will go these days, especially after my nose has been bloodied once too often.

That's also why I actually prefer working in all-male environments. Guys band together and work together and are capable of seeing a common goal. Women don't and every female only group I've been in my life had such a large number of backstabbers and poppy-cutters, that in the end the goal suffered.

Camberian · 2020-09-23T11:52:23+00:00

It's radfem-related. The main reason why I never felt and don't really feel welcome and at home among radical feminists. It's also not something I can change, I'm as much born with it, as people get born with red hair or a particular sexual orientation.

Camberian · 2020-09-23T08:19:05+00:00

I'm not welcome anywhere and have to constantly hide part of myself due fear of being banned, and that is done by women. Not men.

So what else is new?

Camberian · 2020-09-23T07:32:28+00:00

... pay for a desperate or trafficked woman to suck your dick.

Yes. This is by now the standard POV in Germany. There's practically no discussion possible.

Camberian · 2020-09-23T05:25:48+00:00

The first question you might want to look into is why you want to harm yourself, because punters harm prostitutes.

There's no logic in that. Logically, and instead, punters need to be ripped a second, third and fourth arsehole for doing what they do. Prostitution needs to be abolished, the Swedish model embraced in all countries, and punters mercilessly hounded, prosecuted and outed for what they do (the majority are in relationships).

Camberian · 2020-09-23T04:09:28+00:00

And, of course, in the history of the anglosphere forced marriage was very rarely a threat, you don't get stuff like Austen written on mainland Europe where women usually had no choice in husband.

Huh? Just a few pointers, the "Déclaration des droits de la femme et de la citoyenne" is 18th century and French. Finnland had the female vote by 1903. Bertha von Suttner not just received the Nobel Peace Prize, she engaged herself in the International Council of Women, which certainly wasn't just comprised of Anglosaxon women. Or in other words, you need to up your knowledge about continental European feminism, something which definitely also includes Russia.

Camberian · 2020-09-23T03:40:09+00:00

“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.” (Joseph Heller)

... or in other words, just because you wished that all female spaces are nice and friendly, doesn't mean they are. I regularly find a lot of needless (and unfounded) idealisation going on in this respect, and accusations of "internalised misogyny" - when it's just seeing the facts for what they are.

Camberian · 2020-09-23T03:32:17+00:00

I didn't get much of the accent, again I was trying too hard to catch up with her machine gun speech speed. Do they all caffeinate to the gills before doing those videos?

Camberian · 2020-09-22T18:22:49+00:00

I agree. And even if you try to say something, the current state of disinformation will see to it, that you're laughed out of the door.

Camberian · 2020-09-22T06:20:40+00:00

Nothing different from before.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T20:39:36+00:00

The problem is that what you say, motivates people not to vote for the Democrats. Which means either they don't vote at all, or they vote for the Republicans (= Trump). Indeed, even if they don't vote, this will lessen the Democrats' votes and heightens Trump's chances.

So while you possible don't say it verbatim, what you say has the exact same effect as telling people directly to vote for Trump. Herein lies the problem.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T18:45:13+00:00

Lobbying for people to vote Trump instead of Biden, because you dislike the Equality Act is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

It will always be possible to lobby for a change of the Act, but another four years of Trump will disrupt the entire planet, not to speak of just the USA.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T18:43:07+00:00

EMMA already does so, there are no other takers.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T17:00:01+00:00

Yahoo bought it.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T16:15:38+00:00

Yep.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T10:17:30+00:00

You need to read Cordelia Fine.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T09:47:08+00:00

So sorry, but Trump is definitely a worse outcome to the election than Biden.

Camberian · 2020-09-21T06:36:12+00:00

I'm not sure.

Unlike the USA and the UK, Germany doesn't have the same, strong "competition in sports" thing going. Most high school kids don't have much sports at all. If yes, then it is just between age 10 and age 14 and comprises 2 hours of either apparatus gymnastics or swimming per week. Schools don't compete against each other in sports. Universities don't compete in sports either, there are no sports at universities, except for those which specialise on sports, and they are few. Practically all sports are privately organised in local clubs and a matter of leisure time. Out of the public eye.

There are no advantages anyone might have by winning sports competitions here (except at a high enough level advertising income). The entire underlying system of the USA and UK is lacking. Anyone can study, there are very low - if any - fees attached to studying, and everyone not well-endowed enough and under a certain age limit can apply for Bafög, which is the state paying for your costs as a student (including living costs and study fees where applicable). No one wins scholarships here via sports, actually scholarships are extremely few and far between and entirely linked to scientific and intellectual merit, usually for genius level pupils and bachelors.

So I doubt anyone would immediately care about that.

As to kids, the laws which currently are lobbied to be changed are precisely those. But I'm not sure people actually understand what this means. The general public, as I stated elsewhere here, still conflates clinical transsexualism with the current transgender craze. Or, worse yet, they conflate transgender with homosexuality.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T20:16:12+00:00

Actually the FAZ article refers to legislation being influenced as we speak.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T14:03:10+00:00

What are your supposed points exactly? You claim, you can't visit a clothed sauna. You can, I showed you that - plenty of clothed saunas in the area. You claim, people force you to be naked. They don't. No one forces you to use a specific sauna or for that matter any sauna at all. You claim, that Germans have a problem with bodily autonomy, which they don't have.

And then you tie all that to Asian, Muslim and Jewish people in a manner, which is even less understandable, as all these groups have their own baths and saunas which few Germans ever visit.

The last part about how transgender people use those saunas is complete speculation, as of now. How do you expect someone should react to what hasn't even played out yet?

And the troll here is certainly not me. If you look up, you see I started this thread. For a reason which has ZERO to do with potential misgivings about perfectly normal sauna habits in Germany.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T12:02:13+00:00

I used the * to indicate that the entire thing encompasses not just transsexuals, but also transgender, AGP, and transvestites. That is how I so far have the * seen being used in English (which is what I have been writing here mostly).

In German I tend to resort to either the generic gender or the correct gender for an individual. I don't do the whole over-PC blah blah ;)

Camberian · 2020-09-20T11:40:27+00:00

Sauna restricted to women can be found here: https://www.ganz-hamburg.de/freizeit-und-fitness/schwimmbad-sauna-spa/sauna-fur-frauen-in-und-um-hamburg-2012.html

"Textiltage" (=clothed sauna days) are offered by all larger sauna facilities in and around Hamburg.

As to bodily autonomy, no one is forcing anyone in Germany to be naked. You can absolutely leave or take any sort of visit to a facility which works with a "nude only" principle.

"Bodily autonomy" means "körperliche Selbstbestimmung". It is quite crazy to suggest that anyone hinders a woman from living in physical self-determination in Germany (except possibly in case of imprisonment/treatment after due process). It is even less understandable when "körperliche Selbstbestimmung" gets mixed up with whether or not someone visits a recreational facility they can just as easily not visit or change.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T11:24:18+00:00

I'm trying to make sense of what you say here, because it doesn't make any so far.

How do you arrive at the notion that German naturist clubs are "nudist cults"? That notion is so absolutely cray-cray, that it makes me wonder with whom and of what kind of background I'm talking here. Because I have now a really hard time believing you are German and grew up in Germany.

And I have been a naturist for several decades, whose parents also were/are naturists, and who visited naturist camps all over Europe. And is member of the local FKK-Verein. The number of religious people in these FKK clubs is not significantly smaller than the number of people outside in the general public. Southern France, Spain and Italy, all heavy on Christians and on non-Christians, feature huge FKK resorts, as well as clubs for the locals, and I never noticed them being particularly atheist.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T11:04:29+00:00

Isn't exactly helpful, depending on what the hearing problem is, I'm afraid.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T08:51:13+00:00

Where and what exactly are you talking about? I'm beginning to get the idea that we are not talking about mainstream Germany here.

And so sorry, but a lot of naturists are religious, and have no problems with women being seen by other men in the nude.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T08:46:44+00:00

I understood you quite alright, but even in Hamburg, Lüneburg and Kiel, all cities and regions where I used to live, you got "clothed" and "nude" days. Usually they are equally frequent. Nothing keeps you from going into a sauna during "clothed" days or to saunas which cater exclusively to clothed clients. They all exist, all over Germany.

And yes, of course a nude sauna will require ALL people to enter it in the nude. That's why it is called a nude sauna. One very understandable reason being, that no one wants clothed people enter just to ogle nude people there.

And as long as we are talking private saunas offered by private business people to the general public, as opposed to state/town/county-maintained facilities, you are perfectly free to use them, or to not do so. You can always choose which you prefer, and it is expected of an adult person, to simply ask prior to appearing there. Personally I have no problem with informing myself first, and yes, I can understand why people would be taken aback, when someone arrives and raises a stink about a policy they could and should have informed themselves about first.

Please define what you consider "bodily autonomy", because - and I lived in quite a few countries in Europe - there are few countries more concerned about bodily autonomy than Germany. Something having to do with the 3rd Reich and how bodily autonomy was taken from people then. Your idea and my idea about this seem to be quite different. Maybe just say the term in German.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T07:57:01+00:00

Unfortunately they both talk at machine gun speed, and their enunciation is not to clear either. That limits the reach of such podcasts to native/local people with superior hearing chops.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T07:52:57+00:00

In Germany, where nudity in changing rooms is practically a staple, no man or trans*person could enter secretly. You'd see immediately what they are. And so far single sex changing rooms still are single sex changing rooms.

Camberian · 2020-09-20T07:48:15+00:00

H U H ?!

What are you talking about?

Camberian · 2020-09-20T07:46:41+00:00

I don't even know how to react to this.

I'm a naturist, I grew up in a naturist surrounding, yet no one ever pressured me to share changing rooms with the other sex. Every sauna and every swimming pool here were I live (Southern Germany) has single-sex accommodations and single-sex swimming days. And no one ever forced me to go nude either, not even in naturist camps and clubs.

I actually PREFER an open, equable treatment of the body, according to one's personal wishes of course.

And where you get the idea, that bodily autonomy is not valued in Germany, you have to explain. The contrary is the case.

Camberian · 2020-09-19T21:14:19+00:00

LOL, okay, I stand corrected. I don't watch Stern TV, nor VOX or most other Privatfernsehen, so that sensationalist stuff went by me. What I am noticing is how the topic now enters halfway serious broadsheets and magazines, like Spiegel, Zeit, FAZ and Süddeutsche.

As to the article, I believe it was in the FAZ weekend magazine a week ago. The Spiegel referenced it last week.

Camberian · 2020-09-19T21:11:38+00:00

Nah, I believe mainly journalists use the term "transsexual" to hide that nowadays we are talking about totally different types.

Camberian · 2020-09-19T17:41:41+00:00

And it is just as language based here, of course they want people to "correctly gender" them per nouns, names and gender designation.

Camberian · 2020-09-19T17:40:30+00:00

That doesn't stop them giving suicide as a reason to change the laws and habits in favour of TRA. The article of today was about a "suicidal transsexual called Liam" (born as a woman).

Camberian · 2020-09-19T17:26:11+00:00

They already have cleverly confused people to the meanings of "Sex" and "Gender". "Geschlecht" (the German word for both) is neutral and can be handily abused to mean any which thing they want.

And our nouns all have a gender.

That is not the problem I am talking about though. Until fairly recently (maybe 2018/2019) transgender was no issue here. The law forbade any sex-changing treatment prior to the 18th birthday, and only after extensive psychiatric treatment (I think it used to be 4 years and then was reduced to 2 years. Treatment was dependent of several clinical therapists recommending it after lengthy therapy.

All this is rapidly changing, and if you know what to look for, you notice how terms are currently obfuscated in a push for US/UK rules and a treatment of teens. There's a heavy influx of autogynephilic and transvestitic males, while the public still believes we talk only about a few rare transsexual males with extreme dysphoria.

Camberian · 2020-09-19T17:02:37+00:00

Nanowrimo has practically been taken over by TRAs. I didn't continue last November on the website because of this, and have ceased participating in any event since.

My writer friends and I maintain our own website privately, where we as a staunch feminist group continue with our old writing month and camp habits on our own.

Camberian · 2020-07-19T12:35:14+00:00

What the hell did she expect? Gay men want male bodies. Biologically male bodies which started out male straight from the get go. They do not want to have sex with women. She probably was even traumatic to a few of them who were too drunk or stoned to realise right away. And her friend is a douchebag. A sadistic one.

Camberian · 2020-07-19T09:16:24+00:00

And I just had another such occurrence. Apparently these days "certain" things may not even be mentioned or written about anymore. I'm sorry, but we are post-1984. If violence or negative behaviour can't be tabled or used in the arts anymore, because people expect that to be some Disneyworld instead, arts lose its meaningfulness.

And I'll add something, which might not be so popular. This entire thing has two sides. If violence towards men is acceptable (as a topic or in any kind of art) and that towards women gets the Disney treatment, then that is just as much of a problem.

Camberian · 2020-07-19T05:07:17+00:00

Good grief.

Camberian · 2020-07-18T17:51:56+00:00

Masks have been proven to protect very recently and conclusively. They do not protect the wearer overly much (depending on type), they protect the others from you spreading the virus. The scientific and peer reviewed tests have been done years ago, during the heyday of influenza and SARS-1. There have - again - been recent tests, e.g. in the entire city of Jena, as well as scientific tests in lab conditions, which all prove the same thing.

The reason why quite a few countries chose not to acknowledge that masks help, was not because of potential improper handling or unnecessary risks. It was because in all of these countries there were not enough masks available for the entire population, especially medical-grade masks. A lot of these countries are currently coming about 100% now that masks have become widely available again.

Camberian · 2020-07-18T17:33:35+00:00

Apparently the moment you do not grovel and self-deprecate you have a "tone".

Camberian · 2020-07-18T15:56:11+00:00

So right! And if you are your normal self on the internet with a neutral name, people do not chastise you, instead they believe you are a guy.

Camberian · 2020-07-18T15:39:58+00:00

Thank you, a fabulous article! I need to get that book.

Camberian · 2020-07-18T10:41:12+00:00

Your post is a perfect demonstration of the point that the OP of this thread made.

Yes. You said it and spared me responding.

Camberian · 2020-07-18T09:20:51+00:00

Oh yes. I get that accusation (being a man) also quite often. And the tone one, too.

But the tone is usually just factual and neutral. I've been once accused of having a horrid tone for stating things in the manner of "1+1=2" or "Albert Einstein was a genius". Those are factual statements, they do not need any "tone" applied to them. I'm not going to say "In my humble opinion, and you might see it differently, but I suggest that one plus one might be two." No way, no how.

The problem is that this, and the refusal to listen to and think through criticism is growing worse now. Much worse.

Camberian · 2020-07-17T05:33:05+00:00

I had a very curious online discussion a few months back - unrelated to any of the radfem topics - in which I was completely astonished that the (US American) other woman maintained, that women as a rule could keep up with men, if they were athletic and worked out a bit. She was dead set in this belief too. The discussion arose from me stating that a 70 years old guy still was likely to be way stronger than any young woman. To say I was completely flabbergasted by her belief is understating it.

Camberian · 2020-07-16T17:40:42+00:00

A lot of these trans* YA books are written by trans* authors. And yes, I agree, it is disconcerting how this most likely fuels the whole thing even.

Camberian · 2020-07-16T17:23:27+00:00

I'm an author, and am currently plotting a book with a GNC teen, being myself extremely GNC. I hope people will read it, because these days even YA is horribly gendered.

Camberian · 2020-07-16T09:23:58+00:00

I can rec "Unbelievable", as it is definitely pro-fem and pro-women, with very strong and realistic female characters.

Stay away from season 3 of "Designated Survivor". Not only a holier than thou trans sister in law, but also the typical narratives of horrid feminists barring trans*women from the ladies bathroom and so on and forth. Pity, because the first two seasons (not made by Netflix) had a couple of really strong, excellently written women.

Camberian · 2020-07-11T12:13:02+00:00

Yes, the cost needs to be shouldered by the community with higher taxes, but that's not where we are, and I really feel for them. And from a selfish perspective, the inequalities that come out of this have an effect on all women as a class.

If anything, I would hope that afterwards, when there is the leisure and ability to reflect about what happened, that women would again band together realising that equality hasn't been achieved yet by a mile and then some. That there are more changes to actively work for, especially by those women who want to combine work and children. I think that liberal feminism has become too complacent in that respect and somehow believes the war has been won, when it was just a squirmish or two.

Camberian · 2020-07-11T11:46:30+00:00

I absolutely agree with you. If anything, this part of the current Covid-19 pandemic ought to result in a much, much better general sex-ed in schools, and it should be obligatory for all and everyone (including homeschoolers). Pros and cons of pregnancy and children need to be part of it, and I am also 180% for a pro-choice information about contraceptives and solutions such as the day-after-pill, abortions, or adoptions. I find it inconceivable that any western democratic nation in this day and age still holds women hostage of the child-rearing question. This needs being addressed on a broad front and from all sides.

Camberian · 2020-07-11T08:31:52+00:00

Excellent article! Thank you.

Camberian · 2020-07-11T08:12:39+00:00

Are there actual doctors around in the USA who believe this? I can't even. What bollocks.

Camberian · 2020-07-11T07:21:55+00:00

Angelfire ist still around at a 12 $ yearly cost, and probably too old-fashioned now to attract TRA CEOs.

Camberian · 2020-07-11T07:00:28+00:00

Probably very unpopular opinion here, but I do not think that the people are trolls, who say that having children comes with setbacks and responsibilities and is a choice parents have made when having them.

People need to get [back] to the point where they understand that they can't have their cake and eat it too. Not unless they are willing to pay the much higher taxes and vote for the much more left-wing socialist political parties who are willing to ensure that these costs [of parenthood] are shouldered not by individuals, but instead by the solidly united commonality. That would be the only route which separates consequences from the deed for the individual parents.

Personally, I made the choice of not having children when I was 14. I never wavered from that. I'm an artist, I knew ahead that my work and children would never combine. Not because of a lack of someone else who'd take care of them (I live in a country with extensive parental aid, pregnancy leave and parental leave for BOTH parents as per choice, and I have friends and family where the men stayed at home and took/take care of the children for many years).

No, it was exactly this conundrum currently faced by so many parents, that decided me. I knew that I - if push comes to shove - would resent giving up time, work and goals to raise and maintain a child. And really, no child deserves having such a parent and such a mindset forced on them. It's not that difficult to reflect upon this and come to a decision.

Insofar I do feel sorry for this writer, but at the same time, I think she and her partner haven't thought things through enough prior to deciding to have children. I also think that if you want such specific societal problems to change, you really need to first set things in motion politically, and given where the USA currently are drifting, given that apparently so many already unfavourably view general health insurance, I doubt a socialised childcare is anywhere nearby. In such a societal climate complacency will bite you in the end.

For the moment all one can hope is that TPB quickly become more reasonable in the fight against infections and that they'll find a solid treatment and/or a vaccination.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T15:47:00+00:00

Kills me there is that they are developed country, but living like 3rd world muslim countries society-wise

You lost me there. What do you mean by that?

Expected should not be a norm, thought.

I wouldn't say Manga are the norm, and Japan definitely is a culture one can't compare to Western cultures just like that. So, when I read Manga I know what to expect. It stuns me when women of my own general cultural sphere show that they don't even know that assault and battery of women is still very much a thing.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T14:53:03+00:00

I have. No problem with that. It's something you expect there.

It's the fact that there are educated women, who don't realise that such an activity is something which is being done to other women and hence horrific, that kills me. It's as if they live in sort of a la-di-da-land, where everything is just peachy and fine, and don't anymore notice reality.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T14:47:15+00:00

Elite Daily? Psychology Today? I suggest something more scientific and peer reviewed if you want to convince me. This isn't even popular science.

Purse, backpack, back pocket - it doesn't matter which, as long as it holds their stuff. Where I live - which is not the USA - you can't wipe your nose with a phone, nor use it as a tampon, or carry your keys. Lots of teens and adults here still use some sort of carryall.

I'm however done with this discussion. I bow out. :)

Camberian · 2020-07-10T14:05:58+00:00

None of my post was snarky, uninformed or patronising. But whatever - a nice day to you as well.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T13:45:42+00:00

Hmm.

Firstly, there are special types of contraceptive pills geared towards teenagers, and the gynaecologist needs to make sure, anyway, that she does not have any habits (e.g. smoking) or illnesses, which could heighten the risk for blood clots. Find a good gyn and send your daughter to them if she plans on having sex for more than a few times.

Secondly, there are perfectly secure and viable methods of chemical and mechanical contraception (contraceptive foam/gel with a condom or a diaphragm) which you can get in advance and in such ample amounts, that you and your daughter can stash them anywhere where she might happen to have sex. Including a set to go into her purse, so she never is without. It's a bit fiddly, but most teenagers quickly figure it out (I remember well enough that we all did).

Thirdly, please stop disrespecting your daughter's privacy. If you want her to stay relaxed with you and any information and help coming from you, you need to let go. Allow her the security of your home to make those first experiences, rather than force her out into a car, motels, sub-par friends' place or doing it standing in a side alley. And what not else. I had sex for the first time just after I turned 15 and my parents were relaxed enough to respect my closed door. And cool enough to allow my then boyfriend to have breakfast with us. I cherish that respect to the day.

Lastly, and pardon my directness, but that notion that someone bonds with someone they sleep with hormonally driven in any great manner is BS. Sex doesn't automatically cause the release of any "bonding hormones" (you are probably thinking of oxytocin). That hormone is already produced when you cuddle (even you as the mother with your daughter). Most teenagers quickly get over their first lovers and move on, we are more like bonobos, and less like swans.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T13:20:10+00:00

Yes. And the case I refer to was worse than that. The violence on the cover was entirely removed from the content of the book. It was picked because the author thought it's funny, not for any intrinsic relation to plot or characters. And no one found any of this noteworthy. Sometimes I wonder just in which cloud-cuckoo-land these women live that they are not aware that what they think is incongruous is something many, many women experience first-hand.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T11:45:04+00:00

The casual acceptance of visual violence by women per se is what horrifies me much more. I recently witnessed a discussion amongst authors where a suggested cover contained casual extreme violence/harm of a woman (think something similar to dumping acid on a woman) and several women found it hilarious. We are talking of a romance. There were a few contrarian voices, but in general people thought it was so incongruous that it was laughable. A joke.

I don't get that.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T08:17:43+00:00

One large group against corsetting in that era were the naturalist/pre-Raphaelite painters (Artistic Dress Movement) and artists I believe. They championed wide, loose dresses for women related to Antiquity and the mediterranean area. There are quite a few early photos, paintings and articles around showing their daughters and spouses in such clothes.

Another group (Dress Reformers) comprised "doctors against corsets" or a similarly named group, as well as various male and female scientists. They apparently held a dialogue about the topic via broadsheets and articles in broadsheets and concentrated on the negative medical consequences of corsetting.

I also read about the early suffragettes and feminists who lobbied against corsets, and there was this movement for the wearing of bloomers and trousers by women, which included a stance against corsetting. So yes, there was quite some criticism going on.

As to corsetting as a modern body modification kink in (and out of) BDSM, I have no beef with that. These people (men and women) do it of their own volition. No one forces them, they can stop whenever they want to, and truth be told, it is quite similar to anyone wearing earrings, a piercing, a tattoo or a fingerring.

Camberian · 2020-07-10T04:29:44+00:00

Because it is a halfabout turn to before. He spoke to someone, or reflected on it, or whatever. What I mean is that he is actively reflecting on what has and is happening and isn't being the same idiot as quite a few others now.

Camberian · 2020-07-09T19:10:07+00:00

I agree. And I think he already has taken a step back to reflect about his semi-automatic backpaddling in fear of the TRA. The backlash is definitely already humongous if you look at the reactions to what he posted. It will be interesting to see where this goes.

Camberian · 2020-07-09T07:45:22+00:00

I wished the audio version wasn't so obnoxious.

Camberian · 2020-07-09T05:25:51+00:00

I never shaved. Anywhere. So yes, of course I wear shorts and skirts with unshaven legs. And I do have dark and plenty hair.

Camberian · 2020-07-08T21:17:28+00:00

It probably also depends from which side of the pond you are.

I can easily see, why e.g. someone who is asexual or someone who is polyamorous considers himself or herself queer. These people get pretty much the same shitty treatment by heteronormative people as gays, lesbians and bisexuals do. And they are definitely looked at as being queer in the old sense of the word over here.

Camberian · 2020-07-08T18:45:35+00:00

AFAIK queer encompasses way more than gay, lesbian and bisexual. As I understand this, this these days includes asexuals, aromantics, pansexuals, demisexuals and polys.

Camberian · 2020-07-08T16:21:50+00:00

Personally I think a large part is the inexplicable immaturity of this age group.

Camberian · 2020-07-07T14:55:18+00:00

This was the exact thing I thought. Bite off the nose to spite the face.

Camberian · 2020-07-07T10:01:48+00:00

Because she excuses TRA speak with fake science.

Camberian