Any of you ladies have any knowledge/thoughts/advice on birth control for a teen?

submitted by Yayme from self.GenderCritical

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[–]Camberian 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Hmm.

Firstly, there are special types of contraceptive pills geared towards teenagers, and the gynaecologist needs to make sure, anyway, that she does not have any habits (e.g. smoking) or illnesses, which could heighten the risk for blood clots. Find a good gyn and send your daughter to them if she plans on having sex for more than a few times.

Secondly, there are perfectly secure and viable methods of chemical and mechanical contraception (contraceptive foam/gel with a condom or a diaphragm) which you can get in advance and in such ample amounts, that you and your daughter can stash them anywhere where she might happen to have sex. Including a set to go into her purse, so she never is without. It's a bit fiddly, but most teenagers quickly figure it out (I remember well enough that we all did).

Thirdly, please stop disrespecting your daughter's privacy. If you want her to stay relaxed with you and any information and help coming from you, you need to let go. Allow her the security of your home to make those first experiences, rather than force her out into a car, motels, sub-par friends' place or doing it standing in a side alley. And what not else. I had sex for the first time just after I turned 15 and my parents were relaxed enough to respect my closed door. And cool enough to allow my then boyfriend to have breakfast with us. I cherish that respect to the day.

Lastly, and pardon my directness, but that notion that someone bonds with someone they sleep with hormonally driven in any great manner is BS. Sex doesn't automatically cause the release of any "bonding hormones" (you are probably thinking of oxytocin). That hormone is already produced when you cuddle (even you as the mother with your daughter). Most teenagers quickly get over their first lovers and move on, we are more like bonobos, and less like swans.

[–]Yayme[S] 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

Oh you. I think I'm just going to ignore your patronizing, snarky, naive, uninformed response. Otherwise I might tell you to fuck off and shove it up your ass.

Edit to add: Ok. I've cooled off some. So I'll go ahead and try to make a reasonable response.

I suspect you feel like I've personally attacked your parents, and that's why your answers were so shitty. I'm clearly against my child having sex at a young age, while your parents were obviously very permissive with it. Different parents have different styles. One is not better than the other. What I'm doing does not mean your parents were wrong. What your parents did does not mean I'm wrong.

But your answers mostly don't apply to me, because I'm taking a different approach than the one you were raised with. But thank you for taking the time to answer.

[–]Camberian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

None of my post was snarky, uninformed or patronising. But whatever - a nice day to you as well.

[–]Yayme[S] 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

but that notion that someone bonds with someone they sleep with hormonally driven in any great manner is BS

(because you say it's BS I guess the matter is settled! eyeroll)

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/sex/why-does-sex-create-attachment/2083231

Most teenagers quickly get over their first lovers and move on

(except the 25% that don't. I guess eyeroll)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201812/is-marrying-your-first-and-only-lover-bad-idea

Thirdly, please stop disrespecting your daughter's privacy.

She's 14. She's not an adult. The idea that I should not check on her is stupid. A parent is actually supposed to.. you know.... parent. Not just be in the same general vicinity while their kid grows up.

I'm curious now - did your parents actually even know you were upstairs having sex when they offered your boyfriend a cigarette when he was done - oops, I mean made him breakfast when he was done?

Because I know a LOT of parents that have their heads in the sand. Their kids are having sex, sneaking out, drinking alcohol, smoking pot, vaping, watching violent degrading porn, getting brainwashed by trans grooming gangs - and their parents have no idea.

So I'm wondering if your parents were the clueless kind, or the permissive kind.

Including a set to go into her purse, so she never is without.

Do you even know any 14 year olds? I don't know a single one that carries a purse. They put their phone in their backpocket, and their money in their phone.

It's all pretty shitty and/or uninformed.

[–]Camberian 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Elite Daily? Psychology Today? I suggest something more scientific and peer reviewed if you want to convince me. This isn't even popular science.

Purse, backpack, back pocket - it doesn't matter which, as long as it holds their stuff. Where I live - which is not the USA - you can't wipe your nose with a phone, nor use it as a tampon, or carry your keys. Lots of teens and adults here still use some sort of carryall.

I'm however done with this discussion. I bow out. :)