What' wrong with the concept of 'cis'? Reading Gender Hurts

submitted by Spikygrasspod from self.GenderCritical

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]jelliknight 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

"Cis" also means you agree that you were born to be naturally submissive, dainty, and to like ribbons and sparkles.

Gender is the set of social roles, rules and expectations assigned to a sex. "Gender identity" is the idea that a persons 'gender' is an innate trait, something you are born with. Transgender (to a transperson) means they were born with the opposite sexes roles 'innate' to them. Cis means you were born with the 'correct' set of innate gender roles.

If you agree that you are 'cis' then you're saying that you and all women are naturally inclined to wear make up, be sexually attractive to men, be a mother, cook, clean, wear dresses and heels, like the colour pink, be bad at math and spatial reasoning, hate sports and getting dirty, etc. etc. All the things that transpeople say are reasons they "knew" they were a woman.

My personal rules on pronouns and names have become very simple - I won't tell someone elses lies for them. If he wants to say his name is Sheila, and the he's a 'she', that's fine. Free speech. But I won't tell his lies for him. I call it like i see it. "She" is a small lie, but it's still one, and it's one that will be utilized later against other women ("everyone ELSE calls me 'she' you bigot!") and when trying to access our spaces. I don't see a reason to help him with that.

Additionally, I really believe that a lot of these transpeople are mentally ill. They're operating in a delusional state, some as a result of trauma. They really do believe they ARE female, and the doctors and everyone around them confirm that belief. If your friend came up to you and said that he IS King George of England, he fully believes that, and his pronouns are now 'your majesty', would you go along with it 'out of politeness'? Or would that be enabling a harmful delusion? Would you instead, as kindly as possible, say "It might upset you to hear this, but you're not a king, you're not from England and I won't call you 'your majesty' because doing that would harm you."? That's a delusion which really won't do him any physical harm. Enabling a persons delusion of being the opposite sex can REALLY cause them physical harm as they go down the path of 'physical' transition. Your being "polite" could give them lifelong medical problems, or even kill them in the long run.

So ask yourself, are you really 'being polite' or are you just avoiding confrontation?

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm convinced too much exposure to violent and graphic internet porn damages people's brains, too. No one can tell me 24/7/365 porn access isn't part of this "phenomenon"!

[–]chrysthefeminist 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"She" is a small lie

I think it's a Big Lie.

[–]Spikygrasspod[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

A small lie that will be utilized later against other women. Powerful words, thank you. Um, yes, it is very possible I am avoiding confrontation, a behaviour which, now I think on it, significantly overlaps with being polite.

Gender actually has a range of definitions, including gender as sex, gender as a social role or class, gender as norms and expectations, and gender as a performance or expression. The most recent and rarified definitions of 'gender identity' refer to something even less concrete than gender norms and stereotypes. This includes an 'innate sense' an 'internal map' or 'norm relevancy' - the feeling that gendered norms apply to one. Ultimately, however, they are either based indirectly on sex or one of the more socially concrete definitions of gender, OR they are divorced from these and become self-referential and incoherent. I think of this newer collection of definitions as the 'essence' concept of gender/sex, because they posit a female or feminine 'essence' existing separately from actual biological sex or social femininity.

For anyone who is interested, I can recommend Katharine Jenkins's philosophical paper, "Amelioration and Inclusion: Gender Identity and the Concept of Woman*" in which she attempts to define womanhood according to gender identity, and makes utterly clear her political reasons for doing so; namely, the prioritisation of male voices in feminist spaces.

[–]jelliknight 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Um, yes, it is very possible I am avoiding confrontation, a behaviour which, now I think on it, significantly overlaps with being polite.

Also watch out for "just be kind <3" 'tis a trap for the unwary ;) It's all just female socialization. "Be polite, be nice, be kind, don't make a fuss" in context mean "make everyone else comfortable, your needs and perspectives don't matter."

Yes, there are several definitions of gender. If you watch, they will play a shell game with the definitions; "people should be treated as the gender they identify with", in this sentence "gender" while only used once takes two contradictory meanings - sex, and sex sterotypes.

[–]salty-tomorrow 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

great comment.