I remember popular ‘90s-‘00s feminism growing up, and it honestly scared me.

Feminism back then was about making WIVES and MOTHERS’ lives easier, along with a healthy dose of “It’s FEMINIST to be SEXY!”. The corporate world had gotten involved, and now a woman was liberated when she got vacuum cleaners and dusters that made housekeeping all the simpler; bleach that made fabrics that much whiter; lingerie that said that just because you’ve given birth doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t look “tantalizing” to your husband.

Women weren’t promised equal pay or promotions at work, but we WERE promised on-site daycare facilities at the office for “working moms” and the promise of ever-shorter skirts to wear with our business casual clothes. Feminism was about quick and easy dinners to make for our families. Feminism was about sitcoms that either detailed the lives of a good-looking mom and her lazy-ass, lovable husband that she loved despite his faults, or a single woman who just wanted marriage and a baby, whether she knew it or not.

I didn’t like that “feminism” because it was sold as so “liberating” and “free” and “for women”, but it was just gender roles dressed up in corporate power suits. How come no one was building daycares for working dads? How come men didn’t have sexy boxer stores? How come dads didn’t have to worry about cooking dinner and cleaning house? Why weren’t these ever men’s problems?

And for God’s sake, why did I have to get married and have kids? I didn’t like kids. I didn’t trust men. Was I abnormal? Did I need to see a therapist? (Two people - one a medical professional - thought so.) But that was feminism: marriage and children were for women, so that must be what this newfangled “feminism” is, repackaged by corporate sponsors eager to ensure a steady stream of revenue from Christmas toy shoppers, dieting aids and Swiffer products.