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[–]TeaAndCigarettes 33 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 0 fun34 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

You sound like you're being gaslit. You're asking yourself all the questions someone does when they're being made to believe that reality is different then what their senses are telling them.

I would not tolerate being in a relationship with a man who would tell me my beliefs make me transphobic. I don't even tolerate trying to be FRIENDS with those men let alone trying to be romantic with them. Depending on how long you two have been together and the depth of your relationship and connection I would try to find some middle ground but if he is trying to force you to cede opinion or convince you that you're something you're not then it's time to move on.

[–]sosorreal[S] 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

The consensus we reached last night was to just never talk about this, but this is very important to me and I'm a passionate and honest person, so it isn't exactly easy for me to just be quiet. It feels like I'm being silenced. He just will not agree with me, will not look into it. I feel like if he actually researched this, he would come to the same conclusion (like any rational human would), but he refuses because he thinks he will never agree. So I'm not really sure where that leaves us.

[–]Veneficca 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Imagine a future with someone who always buys into media/online soundbites and slogans without thinking for himself or doing research. It would drive me crazy.

If your husband was disabled and was passionate about an issue hurting disabled people, how would he feel if you contradicted him without looking into the issue and then silenced him about it?

[–]sosorreal[S] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

wow, that's a really eye opening point. shit, thank you

[–]badMADam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Or being with a person who never takes your views seriously enough to even look into them but just keeps insisting he is right. Do you think that person really sees you as an equal?