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[–]CaliforniGinger 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I had a lot of arguments with my husband when I found GC. He kept telling me it was a hate sub and after I backed up all my views with solid facts he said well it was a sub for man hatred. I forced him to look at some of the cisprivilege is a lie and thatneverhappens stories and he tapped out super quick, said they were making him sick. I asked him whether we were a hate sub or a righteous anger sub. Eventually, after reassuring him that I wasn't planning on going full man hater and dumping him, he was better able to listen to me and is a TERF now, though still uncomfortable reading our stuff.

I think men are often a lot more easily upset than we realize (John Gottman's research proved they tend to physiologically "flooded" and unable to think way quicker than women do), so arguing in a way that is aware of that can help.

That said, if you give it a period of time and he refuses to discuss it at all and says you're a bigot, then dump his ass and ENJOY LIFE!

[–]aldoushuxleyghost 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This. When I got into the GC sub years ago my husband lost it the same way. Had to do a lot of reassuring, now he is totally on board and a giant terf.

Monday he knew about the gc ban before I said anything and came to comfort me. Don’t settle for man who doesn’t validate a core personal belief you have.