How much do we owe to strangers?

submitted by HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (33 children)

I haven't seen much harassment on that sub. There are sometimes posts about trans men. There was a post asking users if they would date an AFAB enby who was male presenting. I see nothing wrong with that post. There are also posts once in a while that gay men should date X group or they are awful, etc. Those are not OK either. Unfortinately the mod is extremely lenient and doesn't remove those kind of posts.

However frequently on that sub gay cis men are telling gay trans men they are female even though they aren't or saying men do not have vaginas. Most men don't have vaginas but some do. r/ActualLesbians doesn't tolerate this kind of transphobia, why should AGB? If I were a mod there, I would ban any post that would be more appropriate for gender critical or LGBdroptheT. I asked the Reddit admins to add a trans man as a mod.

[–]Juniperius 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (32 children)

Who the heck are you to tell r/AskGayBros how they should be modding their sub?!? You are not gay, nor a man, not by the real definitions and not by the TRA definitions. You think you have the right to invade the space of a marginalized community and insist that they should only be gay the way you, a heterosexual, think is an appropriate way to be gay? WTF is wrong with you?

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (31 children)

In 2020, Reddit banned all the GC subs. Yet despite this, r/AskGayBros continues to be a platform for transphobic content. I do think if they explicitly banned trans men they would have also been banned.

I am well aware (cis) gay men are a marginalized group. Trans men are also a marginalized group. If the sub was saying things that are racist to black gay men, I'd call it out. If the sub said anti-Semitic thinks to gay Jews, I'd call it out. In this case, cis gay men are saying transphobic things to trans gay men, I'd call it out also. Being a part of a marginalized group doesn't give you the right to be hostile to other marginalized groups.

[–]Juniperius 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (30 children)

But you think that you, not being part of a marginalized group, do have the right to be hostile towards it?

Your beliefs and rhetoric (and now actions, you are telling us) are hostile to homosexual people. I, a Lesbian, who has likely been out of the closet longer than you have been alive, am telling you so.

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (29 children)

Saying trans women are women or trans men are men is not being hostile to homosexual people. Saying trans men can be in gay bars or transbians can be in lesbian bars is not hostile.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (28 children)

It sort of is hostile tho gb. You’re making rules for a group you aren’t part of and those rules you want enforced include homophobic rhetoric.

How many times do you think the lesbian community at large has heard that they have a bad or wrong sexuality because it excludes adult human males?

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (27 children)

I'm not making rules for a group. I'm saying trans people attracted to the gender they identify with are part of the group.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (26 children)

You are redefining homosexuality as a gender preference and invalidating the sexuality of everyone who does not experience homogender attraction. You are denying and demonising the sexuality of women who are not attracted to adult human males.

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (25 children)

I'm not redefining homosexuality. The definition of homosexuality is attraction to the same sex or gender. For instance, I am attracted to both cis men and passing trans men. I am not attracted to cis and passing trans women. I am straight. Yes, straight because I feel that weird breast describes my sexual orientation. I remember another user on this sub described themselves as a lesbian because they are attracted to cis women, trans men and enbies AFAB. That's OK too. People can use whatever words they feel best describes their sexual orientation.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (24 children)

How does homosexuality include gender? It is sex based attraction.

Words have meaning that does not and will never be able to account for idiosyncratic definitions whilst also being meaningful language.

Heterosexual cannot mean a million things to a million people and effectively communicate a cohesive idea. That’s the purpose of language.

Interesting that everyone is allowed to define their own sexuality but lesbians who define it as adult human females attracted to adult human females are somehow wrong. Care to explain that discrepancy?