All: Disclosure and Consent

submitted by loveSloaneDebate King from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

What percentage of people do you think have genitals that correspond to their chromosomes?

My point being- most people’s outer appearance is indicative of their chromosomes. So I think people assume sex correctly something like 99% of the time.

So us not technically being attracted to chromosomes doesn’t mean we aren’t attracted to what chromosomes correlate to the overwhelming majority of the time.

So while I agree that someone can look at a trans person that they don’t know is trans and be attracted to them- it is because they assume they are the sex they appear to be.

However, knowledge that they are the opposite sex than they were assumed to be is easily more than enough to nullify that attraction.

Not just because of stigma or bias or fear or whatever, but because someone can genuinely not feel attracted to or comfortable with sleeping with a trans person. It’s that simple.

I genuinely do not feel comfortable with the idea of sleeping with a trans person, even post op, and my reasoning has nothing to do with my ideology and everything to do with the technicalities and realities of neo genitals.

You can dismiss what I’m saying as bigotry- but even if I am a bigot, i still have a sexual boundary

What justification is there for that boundary not being respected?

I understand you think we should have to ask- but the fact is that trans people make up such a minute portion of the population that I don’t think that’s a reasonable demand. As I said in the other post- if you know something about you (or even something about your preferences sexually) can be a dealbreaker for the overwhelming majority of people (and we can prove this to be the case with trans people), I think it is your responsibility to disclose.

A married man lies about being single and a woman sleeps with him. He was wrong. I think we can all agree on that. We don’t tell the woman she should have asked. She had no reason to. It’s reasonable to assume she thought he was single.

It’s reasonable to assume someone who looks female is female. So if that’s not the case, it’s the responsibility of the male who looks female to be honest. Just as it would be the responsibility of the married man to be honest about being married. He kept being married a secret because he wanted to get laid. The TW would have kept being male a secret for the same reason. Why is it okay for the TW?

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (10 children)

You don’t have the right to have unexpressed preferences honored. It takes six seconds to ask if someone is trans, you all can expend the minute amount of effort and talk to a potential romantic partner about your preferences. Because I’m not going to act like transphobia is the default worldview and should be assumed of all people that I meet.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

yo u don’t have the right to have unexpressed preferences honored

That’s some really rapey rhetoric if you think about it.

Like, before sex is someone really supposed to list off every single thing they don’t want, and if they don’t, they lose the right to say no to unwanted anal, or being urinated on, or the right to change their minds about something they had previously agreed to?

Thats absolutely horrifying.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (8 children)

Its also not what I said. Why would anyone lose the right to say no?

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

They lose their right to say no when they aren’t told ahead of time there may be circumstances they’d say no to…

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

No they don’t. If a sexual partner brings up trying an act that someone doesn’t want to try them they can just say no to trying it.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree one thousand percent.

If the issue that crosses someone’s boundaries is mentioned before sexual interaction begins, there’s no issue of consent.

However, if it’s not mentioned until after or not mentioned at all, a boundary has been crossed.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

When they lose the right to have undisclosed preferences respected.

That’s what you said.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

No they don’t have the right in the first place. People aren’t mindreaders

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

And so because people aren’t mind readers, the rapey situation I previously mentioned is fine and dandy?

If I didn’t expressly say I don’t want anal sex, according to your statement, I have no right to have that respected if I don’t disclose it beforehand.

You are defending rape rn

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

What part of what I said in any way implies that you can’t turn down anal sex? Has a sea witch stolen both your voice and your ability to convey your feelings non-verbally?

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If you can’t see how you’re implying that when you say “you lose the right to have unexpressed preferences honoured” maybe you should stop trying to tell women what our rights are until you can see the extremely obvious flaws in your rhetoric.

‘You lose the right to have unexpressed preferences honoured’ is rape apologia and support.