All: Disclosure and Consent

submitted by loveSloaneDebate King from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Actually, let me ask you:

A guy is into tying women up during sex.

He hooks up with some woman, and as they’re having sex, he ties her up. Without asking first. And she gets upset.

Who is wrong?

He’s not raping her. She consented to sex, and was enjoying herself before. She may not have consented to kinky sex, but she didn’t specify that she wasn’t open to kinky sex.

What if she’s okay with being tied up, but she needs to know ahead of time. So she’s not upset that he tied her up, just that she wasn’t expecting it. Is what he did okay now?

Why or why not?

I know tying someone up is not the same as being trans, but your assertion is that being trans isn’t a big deal. And neither is tying someone up during sex, so please indulge me.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (7 children)

So wait she said nothing as he got the tying item out and approached her? Did she give no body language at all that she wasn’t into it? Like she didn’t get quiet or freeze or look unenthused or anything? What was he like super fast at tying her up or something? If that’s the case, then yes he should have asked. It makes sense that when you consent to sex you don’t automatically consent to all forms of sex.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

“It makes sense that when you consent to sex you don’t automatically consent to all forms of sex“

Just want everyone else to see this lmao

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 7 fun1 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 7 fun -  (5 children)

It’s not comparable.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It absolutely is. You’ve already acknowledged that consent to sex is not automatic consent to any type of sex. That’s either true or it’s not. There’s no way to say “it’s true unless…” without sounding rapey and self serving.

Trying to backtrack now would just make you look like a hypocrite but go for it.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

Having sex with a trans person is exactly the situation that was consented too though, just as the racist who has sex with the white passing black women has consented to having sex with them. Ropeplay is an additional activity that was not agreed to thus the difference.

[–]BiologyIsReal 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You cannot consent to have sex with a trans identified person if you don't know that said person is trans.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This. It’s so fucking simple. You have to really bend over backwards to pretend it’s not.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s not. It’s having sex with a trans person. That’s different from having sex with someone who isn’t trans. One is trans. One is not. That’s the difference. Should be obvious.

It’s why you clarified “having sex with a trans person”

If you agree to have sex with a vagina, it’s not consent to have sex with a neovagina because those aren’t the same genitals. I gave consent to sex with a female. Not a male.

And again- where are you getting this idea that white passing black women are deceiving racist white men? You keep referring to this, but I have not ever seen any cultural or societal reference for it, kind of sounds like something you’ve made up to try to bolster your argument. But a racist white dude accidentally fucking a black woman isn’t the same as having gay sex when you consented to hetero sex.

Tying someone up isn’t role play. It’s tying someone up. It’s not even technically a sexual act, though in my example it was done during sex. If it’s not okay for that man to tie a woman up without asking, it’s not okay for a trans person to put someone in the position of engaging in a type of sex they didn’t consent to.