QT/All: Why exactly should we accept non-binary people and validate their identity?

submitted by IceColdLover from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]catoborosnonbinary 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am gender conforming and nonbinary. My dysphoria was with my physical body; I am now a eunuch. Gender identity is entirely subjective and cannot be validated. I do not seek attention. I have never used a neopronoun; anyone requesting one gets "they/them".

I think the problem with trans visibility is one of confirmation bias: you see the trans people who are actively seeking attention, especially narcissists. Nonbinary people can be quite good at drawing attention to themselves if they avoid conforming to gender roles, but most have better things to do.

Nonbinary people are, first and foremost, people. We have complicated personal histories that are much more than feeling slightly uncomfortable with gender roles. Narcissists are poison and should be avoided whether they are trans or cis. No doubt there are some nonbinary people who are also narcissists, but their narcissism is the problem, not their gender identity.

[–]IceColdLover[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I respect your answer. I would be perfectly happy to refer to you as you see fit. Since the majority of self-declared non-binary people do not have dysphoria nor do they receive surgery of any kind on their bodies, you can understand why my perception is of people who just want to be special. Very different from what you have described.

[–]catoborosnonbinary 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All the nonbinary people I know want or have had surgery/hormones. All those years of quiet desperation. Trenders are a small and noisy but unrepresentative subset. Many trans people go through a coming out phase then just get on with life.