my new boat is in perfect condition.

submitted by armaged from self.whatever

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[–]armaged[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

i am just sitting here killing time while i work on a very lengthy programming project.

my first computer programming language was atari basic.

following is a recording of me pranking a medicare telemarketer:

https://files.catbox.moe/k022yr.mp4

[–]cantelever 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

do you have any thoughts on martinis? experts say that the ideal size is 4 ounces. As in, you go over, it's too difficult to maintain flavor, and underneath that is a trifling matter.

[–]armaged[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

i dont even know what goes into a martini... is that vodka? i really dont know.

[–]cantelever 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Dude! I don't know either! I want to learn, just in case I ever get to go to a fancy bar and order one.

[–]Musky 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

A martini is made from gin and vermouth, with an olive garnish.

[–]AmericaMuskrat 0 insightful - 2 fun0 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

you would know.

[–]armaged[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

did you know that you can make the most bomb homemade wine with nothing more than fruit and white sugar and water?

i used handpicked blackberries when i tried making it, but they assure me that you can make wine with applesauce..

anyways, put the berries into a container... fill the container about 80% full with fruit... fill it with water slightly above the fruit.. now over the course of about four weeks, steadily put a dose of white sugar on top of the fruit..

i learned this when i was homeless in california, a meth dealer from thailand named nancy taught me..

a hillbilly in the camp explained to me that the bacteria from the fruit eats the sugar and the bacteria shits out wine.

as long as you see bubbles on top, that means that the bacteria is eating sugar and shitting wine.

dont put too much sugar at one time..

it makes some really delicious wine.

[–]cantelever 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

you missed the part about drinking around other fancy people. it's a low bar, y'know?

either way.

fill the container about 80% full with fruit... fill it with water slightly above the fruit.. now over the course of about four weeks, steadily put a dose of white sugar on top of the fruit..

i like that. i feel as though this topic has been brought up before. caloric equivalences or something. y'know? like, you're reducint the volume but same amount of calories.

i'm all about egalitarianism but i'm not sure how many homeless people i would want to gift a pack of michelob to. like, they're usually sad enough or old enough that they can't really drink anymore.

[–]AmericaMuskrat 0 insightful - 2 fun0 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

when i was younger, i put down a lot of booze.. i liked to get smooth drunk.. but not anymore.. i dont have much of a taste for it..

in the previous four or five years, i have probably consumed less than two six packs of beer.