Requesting a sexual favor from another person is now a criminal offense

submitted by POOPCORN from i.imgur.com

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[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I suppose a blow job is out of the question then?

[–]POOPCORN[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

isnt that some crazy bullshit? these woke fucktard feminists have made it a crime to flirt.

i do understand that many men take things a bit too far, but it is those casul flirts that end up creating the best relationships sometimes.

i used to have a friend that would flirt up ladies everywhere.. he would just ask ladies at the supermarket if they would like to go fuck.. i asked him one time if he gets slapped a lot, and he said that he does get slapped but that he also gets a lot of pussy.

my sweetest girlfriend that i ever had and she was an absolute barbie doll, my first words that i spoke to her were "you are a slut and a whore, now what do you want from me"? and she stepped up and said hello and told me her name.. she could suck my cum and guess what i had eaten earlier that day.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Blowjobs are universal currency. I'll take a BJ from anyone, even OP. :D

[–]POOPCORN[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

and you will never be that lucky.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

A man can only hope.

[–]POOPCORN[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

live the dream bruh... come and get it if you are man enough.

but my new girlfriend in asia might kick your ass...

she is a stunning beautiful 50 yrs old rice farmer.

i am going to get my visa in about a week to go.

so anyways, i am a rice farmer now.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'd hate to earn her ire so please, I take it all back.

[–]POOPCORN[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's all cool bro I was only saying that s*** cuz the feds had a snitch that was wearing a wire and he was listening in so I had to say that s*** just cover all our bases but now that he's gone I think that if you and me keep things on the down low and on the Coolio I think we'll be fine.

https://youtu.be/DUGjJMfuBGg

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ok, but define sexual favor...Is asking someone to rub barbecue sauce on my nipples technically a sexual favor. What if I just ask to watch you eat popsicles and I masturbate while you do it, but its on zoom and you don't know I'm getting off on it? How about if I ask for help putting in my suppository and I get get a boner? I have so many questions, please advise

[–]POOPCORN[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

There's one general rule of thumb but if you put it in her mouth it's not considered to be a sexual favor according to Texas state law but if you put it in her butthole or in her vagina then it is a sexual favor.

If you can't remember all that I can order you some flashcards that you can keep handy in your wallet for quick reference material.

Asking her if you can eat her butt nuggets is sometimes considered a sexual favor.

[–]Threesrwild 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No more yelling suck my dick?

[–]POOPCORN[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

i love alpha males, my ass is getting wet.