Man Bashed Online After Referring to Friend's Child as 'Baggage'

submitted by Musky from newsweek.com

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[–]Zapped 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

He should not have used the word "baggage". At the very least, he should have told he that he's really busy and can't find the time or not interested in getting together right now. At the most, he should have told her that he's not ready or capable of taking on the responsibility of dating a woman with children. Using the word "baggage" sends a message to her that her child is holding her back and the child may suffer.

[–]Musky[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

It was not the most politick word choice. Although women generally realize what a child does to their dating potential, or they soon discover it. Not saying it doesn't change the situation of the child, who often is going to get a backseat to the parent's dating. I think people just want to be polite moreso than realistic.

[–]Zapped 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

He may have matured since he knew her before. He should have set boundaries for their "friendship" then. She did. Maybe she has matured since then and changed what she looks for in a mate, although it sounds like her feelings were hurt and felt the need to complain to their friend group, so she hasn't totally matured.

I wonder if she has put on weight and he is using the child as an excuse to not date her so that he sounds like he took the high road. But, that is a big guess on my part.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

There's always a lot of context missing missing from posts like these. At the end of the day, it was a very rude way to reject someone.

You're always spot on, Zapped.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Who says she's even shopping for a new daddy. Maybe she just wants to date and get laid. If that's not what this guy is looking for, fine, presumably an adult should be able to make that clear without putting someone down for no good reason. "You have too much baggage for me" is a shitty thing to say to anyone for any reason. It has nothing to do with realism.

[–]Musky[S] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Who says she's even shopping for a new daddy

It's not that she is or isn't, it's that if things go well with the relationship that's the road they're heading down. If that's not a future a person is interested in, then it's understandable to nope out. Why waste anyone's time.

Maybe she just wants to date and get laid

In his friend group she just inserted herself into.... that's gonna end well for him.

"You have too much baggage for me" is a shitty thing to say to anyone for any reason. It has nothing to do with realism

It is blunt and to the point. I would call that realism.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah, this guy's a dick. And he's known this woman for years and years, what's the harm in going for dinner and catching up, it's not a lifetime commitment. He went out of his way to treat her like a leper because she's a single mom (or, more likely, because she never let him into her pants back when he was thirsting after her).

[–]IkeConn 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Boo fucking hoo. Girls never think they are going to hit the 30 wall but when they do it's suddenly some random dude's fault. I hope her tits sag down to her knees.

[–]Airbus320 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

u/againstsinglemothers