Is it Really Love if You Can't Hold His Dick While He Pees?

I was at a wedding where the groom was shit faced drunk at the reception and proceeded to tell the group he realized he loved the bride, when she did just that.

We were friends with the bride, and were at the back of the reception hall desperately gesturing to his the groomsmen to take the mic from the groom.

They were trashed beyond comprehension. The groom and groomsmen were mostly petty officers (lieutenants) in the army.

The bride (my friend) was smoking hot, which is interesting because officers are legendary for having ugly wives. Butt ugly wives.

She was Cantonese (from Hong Kong) and her family spoke no English. They were clueless.

There are no words to describe the expression on the grooms father's face, as he sat with his elbows on his knees; staring off into space.

I imagine the ringing in his ears was deafening.

We were howling with laughter, until a buddy finally went up to the front table and prodded the best man to take the mic.

Sweet memories.