I'll use my army of mind controlled penguins to conquer humanity and rule with an iron fist. I shall force all humans to wear tuxedos with poorly fitting pants so they are forced to waddle like penguins while they serve raw fish to me and my entourage.

I will also be banning all of my pet peeves. There will be no more Ice Cream Sundae, instead they will be changed to Ice Cream Wednesdays because Sunday is the Lord's day. Also all school music curriculum will be replaced with Cats. And lunch will no longer be served at noon but at 12:03 instead just to annoy people. Everyone needs to own at least one pony under penalty of being sent to summer camp. And I will enact roving bands of secret penguin police to randomly stop drunk people and make them give performances of Gilbert and Sullivan which should they fail to do so they'll be charged with drinking in an uncultured manner and sent to theater camps.