Can I rant about sex work for a moment? (self-repost)

submitted by madnessinamerica from self.whatever

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[–]Comatoast 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I'm not sure when you were born, but I'll guess that it was some time in the early-mid 90s gauging by your discussions.

I was born in 85. We didn't have access to the internet at 10 in the same way that it's presented now, but we certainly had access to eachother. As neighborhood children gather together, they naturally talk about everything that goes on behind closed doors. While some parents that are sexually active pretend that a closed door prevents children from being able to hear them arguing and fucking, the reality is that's not true. There was also scrambled porn, someone's dad or uncle that lived nearby with a poorly hidden porn stash, and my favorite of all time.. finding porn mags out in the woods. Children are curious by nature, and it's stupid to assume that taking away internet access is going to prevent them from finding or talking about porn or adult sexual encounters with their peers.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah, well thanks. I'm older than you think. Lets say i was born in the beginning of the 80s.

I will raise my kids more or less in a house in the woods where i first will get to know all the neighbours (after the house has been built beginning this winter). Of course i will talk to them about this. Imo it is not even about cutting them off from reality between adults fully. It is about giving them gradually access to this and especially talking about things like this. By turning this into secrets it maybe gets more interesting to children in the first place. By letting them explore this world alone without talking about this you give them the chance to get a wrong picture. So why should you when you can do way better by investing some time ?

[–]Comatoast 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Ok, even if you get to know all of the neighbors you're not going to know their personal business or what their own children have access to.

You can gradually discuss it, but if they've had talks with other kids at all (this is terrible in public and private school systems) then they're probably going to know already beforehand.

Look. I can tell you now that we have all of these beautiful dreams about exactly what sort of parents we are going to be, and we're ready to retort back to anyone who already has children with judgement aplenty and talks about how we would do things differently. Unless you live in a controlled bubble environment,it's impossible. I will wish you luck on it, either way.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'll try my best. But without a plan there can be no goal. You surely see that.

Of course i can't control everything. I don't even want to. I teached for too long to not know this.

But i will have a say in what picture my children get of these things. A lot of fear and hate on different genders, ways to have "sex" and this stuff in younger people comes because it was such a big secret or "non-topic" in their own childhood, imho. I will at least try to mitigate this.