Ah yes, women, famous for beating up and terrorizing men. That poor, poor, poor soyboy.

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[–]ClassroomPast6178 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

So it’s his own fault?

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah, you have to take responsibility for your own life. No one is coming to save you. How do you like them apples?

[–]ClassroomPast6178 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

As long as you apply that principle equally.

I think the modern taboo about questioning why “victims” haven’t helped themselves and labelling it “victim-blaming” has actually been bad as it has prevented discussions as to how people can take steps to protect themselves.

[–]William_World 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I see a common thing with the me too movement isn't that women got abused or raped but that they had sex with a man in power who promised them certain things and then he doesn't follow thru. That's how it was with weinstein, a bunch of consensual sex that women later regretted and they say he had a power imbalance which is true but they could have just not had sex with him and then not gotten any acting jobs. And some did but got blacklisted.

[–]SMCAB 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Having been "abused" by a BPD for a long time, yes it was my fault.

I perceived love incorrectly, I replaced respect with pussy. And I'm a brick shithouse who does everything a man is supposed to do in an adult relationship. It was never physical, just all the standard devaluing, push/pull, lovebombing and the like.

It was my fault, I allowed it, she was just her normal disordered self.

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No it was her fault.

The only cure for BPD is behaving better. They aren't insane, they can control themselves when they need to.

But you have a responsibility to protect yourself and mix with decent people who deserve your time. That's not the same as being responsible for everything that happens to you.

[–]SMCAB 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I mean really, it was my fault. While I didn't know every little thing about BPD when I met her, I took every red flag and threw them in the garbage, knowing and telling myself I wasn't going to disorder anymore. So in that context, I could have ran anytime, and did a few times, and always went back in the end.

That doesn't discount what you are saying, and I agree, and believe me I still place blame.