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[–]ClassroomPast6178[S] 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (23 children)

For people supposedly not interested in sex, they don’t half witter on about it a lot. I’m not interested in women’s crown green bowls, guess what, I don’t spend a second of my day thinking about women’s crown green bowls.

I certainly don’t go and troll the old ladies playing bowls at the green five minutes from my house. It has never, until just now, crossed my mind to do such a thing.

People who identify as asexual have taken to US confession site Whisper to lift the lid on their love lives.

Asexual people typically don't experience sexual attraction, and while they can have meaningful relationships - sex is not involved, because they usually don't feel the urge.

This can make it tough to date, as one woman from Ontario, Canada admitted - saying that 'most guys want sex, and when they find out you are asexual they leave'.

One person from Paganhill in the UK revealed that they were in fact a 'grey ace' something potential suitors would find confusing.

A grey ace is a subset orientation on the asexual spectrum and means that the individual can experience sexual attraction, but only rarely, or in particular situations.

A common confession was that dating sites do not cater for asexual people and that they need an 'ace Tinder' style dating app instead.

However one person got their own back, saying they 'trolled' dating sites for 'fun'.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (17 children)

I can believe that asexual people, as in people with absolutely no libido, exist. I don't think that's common though. And it's typically indicative of some health problem.

Most of these so called asexuals are just people who arent the Hollywood media ideal of a "stud" and then end up thinking they must be different because when you don't want sex all the time, in a society that places great emphasis on sex all the time as a marketing tactic, people begin to develop weird complexes about themselves. Despite being for lack of a better word "totally normal".

I'm somewhat regularly accused of being "asexual" by some simply because I find sex to be a boring waste of time unless it's in the context of a long term relationship, where it's still boring but no longer a waste of time but a necessary element of bonding. Doesn't mean there's a lack of sexual attraction. Does mean I'm not a nymphomaniac desperately trying to fuck everyone alive.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

It isn't always lack of libido. I have no sexual desire but when it comes to certain kinks I'm a huge slut. There's a lot of things wrong with my brain.

[–]jet199 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (7 children)

That's just what a fetish does to you.

It stops you from being able to enjoy regular sex.

This is why the asexual community is full of male perverts as well as uptight women.

[–]Airbus320 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Mm

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I have zero sexual desire. And I've never had any.

[–]jet199 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

You literally just said you get turned on by your fetishes.

You just fucked up your brain when you were a kid so you have a target error. You get turned on by things or situations rather than whatever your sexuality was supposed to be. You have desire but it's directed towards the wrong target.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It was long before I was a kid.

I wouldn't be surprised if it only exists because my body needs some way to get rid of semen. And I especially need that, because even the slightest amount makes me irritable. I always feel like complete shit, and the more that builds up the more I feel like shit. I wish it would just stop.

I'll consider the possibility that having the genitals I do makes it lose its appeal. But I don't even experience romantic attraction so I don't think that's why.

[–]jet199 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

It was long before I was a kid.

When you rewrite your own history so much you claim you had a fetish as a foetus.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, I first had them when I was hit with physical urges for the first time. Before that there was almost nothing, which is how it should've stayed.

[–]alladd 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

you've never seen my hot ass

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Despite being for lack of a better word "totally normal".

Probably has more to do with the now ever present phthalates mimicking estrogen. Men not having a sex drive didn't use to be normal.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It's normal now?

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Apparently, I've never seen so many men seemingly unconcerned with getting laid.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

No one I talk to seems to think it's normal. I have also never met a single asexual irl. And the only ones I see online are all trans.

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The younger people today seem nearly sexless to me even if they aren't truly asexual. My theory is this is just more normal seeming to you since you don't have a frame of reference for how it used to be, but getting laid used to be an important goal of young men everywhere.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201811/7-reasons-why-young-people-are-having-less-sex

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/young-adults-especially-men-having-sex-less-frequently

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It isn't an important goal anymore? Everyone I know is obsessed with it, and people who don't succeed are super bitter and become incels.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There's a huge difference between, not having a sex drive and not being willing to have casual sex with anything wearing a dress. Most people claiming "asexuality" are simply looking for some kind of label to describe them because they aren't jocks.

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A highly diminished sex drive would result in not being interested overly in sex, and not being compelled to lower one's standards in order to satiate the libido. I suspect it just seems normal to several generations at this point because that's all they have ever known, and it goes hand in hand with the social feminization of men.

[–]alladd 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

bro sounds like u got a secret love of crown green bowls, don't hide it inside, be ur true and authentic self

[–]ClassroomPast6178[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Nothing floats my boat higher than the thought of blue-rinsed biddies slinging bowls on a perfectly manicured green. Those orthopaedic shoes, the perfume of lavender and urine and who can resist the butterscotch toffees!

[–]alladd 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

that was...poetry

[–]RedEyedWarriorThe Evil Cishomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

most guys want sex, and when they find out you are asexual they leave

Well duh. If you're not gonna have sex with me, I'm not gonna stick around.

[–]Wanderingthehalls 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was in a marriage where we had very mismatched libidos and it was fucking hell. And it's not just the lack of sex, I've had dry spells while single and that can be physically frustrating but it's not soul destroying. Being with someone who you love and desire who just doesn't desire you back messes with your head.