The “Gold Star” Problem

submitted by WordsHaveMeanings from self.Lesbians

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (27 children)

It's common but saying all the lesbians in asia are gold stars isnt true and excludes a lot of women who have been through trauma.

[–][deleted]  (26 children)

[removed]

    [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (25 children)

    sexual assault, forced marriages, familial pressure etc.

    Seriously get off your high horse. Being a gold star doesn't make you a better lesbian than someone who isnt.

    [–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    That person looks like the one I was speaking about in my post. Who is saying that "if you was raped, you no longer lesbian, you are bisexual now" and similar elitism. If not people like her, there would not be any troubles with this term at all.

    [–]Dudukolo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Where did she ever say that type of stuff? Can you please show me?

    I am here to defend my friend as she never mentioned such thing.

    [–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    This answer is almost like you haven't read my comment at all.

    [–]Dudukolo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    What is your comment? Show me then!! Do not deflect. Cause all I can see is you shitting and getting butthurt on goldstars! Just admit that you hate us.

    [–]Dudukolo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

    And how does all this has to do with the term goldstar? A lesbian who is sexually assaulted is still a goldstar because she didn't consent to sex with a male. Stop using rape and sexual assault victims for your anti-goldstar sentiment.

    Seriously, don't project your own victim mentality and persecution complex, other personal issues on golds stars. We never insinuated that we are better than you. That just your own deluded mind. A lot of us also comes from religious backgrounds and homophobic conservative environments unlike the stereotypes that you believe in/love to promoted.

    I'm fucking tired of goldstars being treated like shit and vilified in the lesbian community. You don't see this issue among gay men. Gay males can proudly proclaim that they are goldstar and they never get attacked by gay men who have been with women or bisexual men. If y'all hate goldstars so much, just tell us. Many of us would happily go our own way and separated from the community and never return.

    [–]Golly 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

    don't project your own victim mentality and persecution complex

    Girl you are the one with a victim mentality and persecutory delusions. You the one thinking everyone is against you and attacking you when in reality no one cares. Your friend Stoneywhatever was banned cause she's creepy and was constantly talking about het sex and violating sub rules. Not because she's goldstar.

    [–]Dudukolo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

    Oh really no one is against goldstars or attacking us??! No one cares? Have you see how many anti-goldstar rants there are in many lesbian spaces by those have been with males and their doormats/handmaidens calling us "superior, elitist" or whatever crap?? Just look at VioletRemi and Lavalanche comments for example. Why are gay men allowed to be proud of being goldstars (again, I never see them receiving backlash or treated like shit by gay men who have history with women or bisexual men) while lesbians can't? Fuck off with your bullshit and hypocrisy!

    Why is Lavalanche ranting against goldstars and using rape/sexual assault victims for her agenda and implying that we are better that those who have history with males if she has no victim mentality and persecution complex? You can denied it as much as you want, but I'm fed up of the anti-goldstar sentiment in the lesbian community. Again, if you hate us so much, just say it to our face, many of us would happily go our own way and leave the community.

    [–]Golly 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

    Lavalanche and VioletRemi were not talking about ALL goldstars. You are taking all their comments out of context, you didn't even see what they were replying to. Also, most gay men don't care or talk about this stuff either so I don't know what you're on about.

    You are allowed to be proud of being goldstar. Here is a thread for you to go be proud in: https://saidit.net/s/Lesbians/comments/72c5/gold_stars_share_your_experiences/ Or even better, make a new thread dedicated to yourself called "I'm proud to be a goldstar!" or "Being a goldstar is my greatest achievement in life!" No one is going to stop you. No one hates you for being goldstar. What is your problem?

    [–]Dudukolo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

    Really? What were they saying then? Because I can see them bitching and whining about goldstars!

    Are you being passive aggressive or trying to be patronizing here? Oh really just, go to r/gaybros, a lot of them are proud of being goldstars, so no you are wrong that most of them don't care or talk about the stuff. They do and they don't have others trying to shit on them or shame them like what many did in the lesbian community. Denied it all you want but anti-goldstar atittude and shaming is widespread in the community and something must be done about it or once again, me and many others would leave the community! I have discussed with many other goldstars before and they told me they are fed up with the negativity and want to completely split off.

    Oh yeah? I'm sure if I make a thread like that in here, others are going to start bitching and whining about me being "elitist, divisive, superior", blah blah blah and other shit. I have seen it happened to many others who make such threads in TL and other lesbian spaces before, so you are fucking naive and delusional if you think no one cares or hates goldstars.

    I have a problem because you are denying and downplaying the fact that the anti-goldstar sentiment exist in this community when actually it is more rampant than you think. Also your patronizing, condescending attitude and passive aggressiveness is really pissing me off even more!

    [–]Golly 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    Ok. You know what? Make a thread about being proud to be goldstar. Then you will see that no one is attacking you. I don't know how else to get through to you. You seem very desperate to be a victim...

    [–]Dudukolo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    Oh they won't attack or insult me? I'm sure it will fucking happen! Again, it happen in TL and many other lesbian spaces, what's stopping it from happening here?

    You can't get through me because I don't believe a damn words of yours.

    No its more like those who have been with males feel like they are victims and try to constantly shit and blame goldstars for their pasts!

    [–][deleted]  (9 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]ShotsFired 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (8 children)

      All you do is talk about gold star stuff and interrogate other lesbians about their past. Don't you ever get tired?

      [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      Thank you, its extremely creepy and off-putting what they're doing. I reported them to the mods.

      [–][deleted]  (6 children)

      [removed]

        [–]ShotsFired 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

        stalking you? I use the "comments" tab to browse this sub instead of clicking on threads because s/lesbians is not that active. Your comment was at the top.

        btw, I find it hilarious that the woman who likes to quiz people on their private lives is telling me to mind my own business.

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [removed]

          [–]ShotsFired 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

          You will be very missed 😢

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [removed]