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[–]Skipdip[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ok well looks like I choose the wrong words. Let’s forget them then, I think you know what I am talking about.

A main point I have, and the reason I keep saying googoogaga instead of “attraction” is because attraction can always be a question, “was that attraction? Am I attracted?” but googoogaga is undeniable and uncontrollable.

I am also neutral on male stuff. I am put off by sperm though, or any other liquids that come from a penis 😬

But then again, back when my attachment trauma and internalized misogyny was really bad I was afraid of vaginas. I couldn’t even touch my own. And I did not enjoy licking those of the women I was having random one night stands with. It took me healing a certain amount of my stuff, coming to terms with my internalized homophobia and misogyny, and being in a relationship with a woman I loved, to discover that I am crazy about vaginas. Bringing a woman I love to orgasm is one of the holiest most incredible things I could ever be blessed to experience. NowI can’t imagine ever being satisfied with a penis. It does seem boring, and I have no interest in getting it off. It would just be about what the penis could do for me.

That being as it is, why am I still so fucking hung up on whether I might secretly be bisexual!? It is an obsession, but it comes from the myriad cultural pressures. Including my homosexual brainwashed friends who are so deep in the QT head-scramble that they can’t see their own noses. And it’s not just them, it’s the entire culture right now. My ducking LGB friends straight up saying that homosexuality doesn’t really exist because “it’s fluid” and “everyone is a little queer”. And the mainstream culture colluding with this.