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[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Maybe time to move on to someone that you know for sure is a lesbian?

False hope is just a prolonged heartache.

It doesn’t matter if she is super closeted or straight, if she has interest in a male, at this point in time, you know she is not a lesbian.

My first relationship with a woman, was while she had a boyfriend (not a secret, he knew). For a long time, I kept hoping she would walk away from him and realize that she was gay but the yo-yo while she figured things out, was not good for me.

Ultimately, she did come out but by then, we had both fallen in love with other people. Life is all about timing. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out the way we may want.

[–]WildwoodFlower 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I get your point but "waiting for someone you know is a lesbian" could take forever. First, you have to find a lesbian. Then, she has to be a single lesbian. And you have to be attracted to her. And compatible. And she has to feel attracted to and compatible with you.

It's like looking for the proverbial needle in the haystack.

[–]uroborosjohnson 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

God I wish lesbians bars were a thing. Or even just bars, at this point.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I agree about all of that but didn’t you bring up one specific woman that you thought (and hoped) that she was a lesbian?

You said you were afraid it was false hope.

Why don’t you talk with her and ask her?

[–]WildwoodFlower 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, that was in another thread. I never thought she was a lesbian, maybe bi. But it's more about whether or not she likes me than what labels she uses to describe herself.

I can't talk to her and ask her because we hardly ever see each other because of Covid. And this is something we would have to discuss in person, not via text, email, Facebook, Zoom, etc.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This woman has a partner already tho so it’s irrelevant if she is anything. Maybe moving on to a single person is the best way to think of it.

[–]circus_cyaneus[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is, isn't it? This has been a good reminder of that.