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[–]Astrid2448[S] 21 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 3 fun -  (8 children)

But bi women are welcome in almost all lesbian communities. Hell, they are even the majority in most cases.

[–][deleted] 25 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

They are, but lots of bi women are the type that are not welcome. Mostly the ones that include their straight boyfriends in everything and bring him to gay events. Lol. This used to be the main problem lesbians and bisexuals fought over. In those simple days. I mean gay events specifically. How many lesbians feel like seeing places filled with heterosexual pairings? Our venues are small enough. Lol. My friend brought her boyfriend and he was FILMIMG. Lololol. So there were definitely many tensions over that shit.

[–]Astrid2448[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

That's just tact though, that's not about being bisexual. There's plenty of bi women who aren't that socially unaware that they drag their boyfriend to a lesbian panel and force everyone to center them

[–][deleted] 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

The tactless ones caused a real problem for the genuine ones, but lesbians always took the blame. Just like the Katy Perry “kissed a girl” bisexuals are tactless, or the women who call themselves bi and only have threesomes, or women who think Cate Blanchet is hot but would probably not date women. Lesbians seem to take a lot of blame for being mistrustful when the “bisexual umbrella” is full of so many women who don’t take women seriously, and you literally rarely see bisexuals calling this out. I think people should clean up their own house before claiming lesbians are phobic as if we have no reason to be.

[–]Astrid2448[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I agree with you, I just think that none of this changes that for example, in places like actuallesbians there are like 10 bi women for every 1 lesbian. I don’t see how pretending to be a lesbian in places like this (which is the way most lesbian spaces are now) has anything to do with pleasing lesbians when the girls in this space are mostly speaking to bi and trans women. We often don’t even run our own spaces, leadership is usually also bisexual. And then there’s real life where these girls are usually telling straight people (especially straight men) that they’re lesbians.

[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

We were too inclusive of people who have very little empathy for us. That’s how we got here, or at least contributed. The reality is, being a woman who is exclusively same-sex attracted is a very specific experience of the world, and the only bisexual women who understand this are those who have been in long term relationships with women, and spent a long time in the community, not in their heads about attraction to women. And those are the women who have a hard time letting go of their view of themselves as lesbians because it has literally informed huge portions of their life experiences. Being part of that. I feel bad for them, for that reason. It must be really hard. But I feel less bad for them when they keep using “lesbian,” and little compassion for women who use it without even knowing what it actually is. Many bi women who are lifers in the LGB community are really upset about this stuff too, especially seeing so many women who are intent on erasing lesbians and bi women at the same time

Edit: I guess we have had to start being the “mean dykes” they think we are by setting boundaries, but what the fuck else are we supposed to do when we are unwelcome in our own spaces? They helped create this but still need to play victim

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Most people where I am don't believe in lesbians having a space separate from bisexual women. And they subscribe to "bi lesbian"

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We need to send in a lesbian and a bisexual diplomat to tackle the bullshit idea of “bisexual lesbian” and let these kids know we exist as separate categories and would appreciate not being used to cancel one another out. Things have been annoying enough with misconceptions of Ls and Bs without creating a non-label for us to dig our way out of.

[–]Gacho666 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have also thought that, I think that some lesbians knowing that we were few and believing that because of this there were few opportunities to flirt were too open and not only did a lot of bi come in in the long term but also brought as a consequence men saying that they are lesbians (I remember that jokes were made about this, now it is a real problem) and now they have taken us out of our own spaces (which were already few) both physically and online.